The Serene Song of The Broken Singer

Ch.III Trixibella Morris

Didn't一, Didn't一, DON'T!

It was an hour before midnight and that is when the demons lurked. You could hear them whispering within the walls as they mocked me, judged me, scorned me. You hear it all. But, I didn't care as I lay exhausted in the blood. The blood was a dark black now and it stuck to me. It was like a weak glue as I thought about nothing but death. I felt so filthy and I was just so out of it. I didn't know what to do with my life anymore or what to do with myself. I had completely driven myself insane and ended up in a puddle of my own period blood because I had tried to escape. I really had out done myself this time. I fell off the rocker and I didn't even know if I would drag myself out of the hole I dug myself in.

There was a nagging voice in the back of my head telling me that there was no return. That there was no hope for people like me. That is the best way to relieve myself. But, I couldn't bring myself to do so. I was immobilized believing that if I didn't bring myself to get out of the blood then it simply didn't exist. That I didn't exist. It didn't help that it felt as though a demon had a choke hold on me and I just wanted to waste away in this puddle. I felt useless, dirty, and self-deprecated. I had even shedded some tears, but I couldn't bring myself to wipe them away in a fear of smearing the blood all over my face. All over my eyes. It brought a shudder to my body and so I laid there parelyzed.

Nothing was on my mind.

Not even the thought of my parents bringing abuse to me when they find me. I knew they would have my head for not cleaning the house as they told me. I knew they would beat me until I was an inch from death and I was certain they would make me beg for death. But, I didn't care at that moment. My thoughts were everywhere, but nowhere. I was in this limo kind of state. Or maybe it was just my body exhausted after having five panic attacks after realizing what I had done, but it didn't matter. I just wanted to rot in the blood and disappear.

I had lifted my arm from the blood to wiggle my fingers around, but even that was a hassle itself, a dreaded fear of my panicking mind. I felt the urge to scratch my skin away and bathe in a bath of bleach afterwards, but the laxidasical ways of giving up had gotten the better of me. I didn't feel a single emotion and for that I was grateful as I had closed my eyes and welcomed the sweet darkness of my own dreamscape.

A minute hadn't even passed when I heard a scream from the top of the basement stairs and I opened my eyes lazily as I stared at the ceiling before me. What now? Was my scornful thought and I had gotten my answer when I saw my mother appear in my vision. I scowled her as she scowled back at me.

'Dear child, what is wrong with you?!' My mother banshee screeches and my only thought was that, a lot, a lot was wrong with me. My mother flails her arms around in an exasperated way as she was opening her mouth and closing it like a dam fish. She was at a loss of words. Maybe she had heard my thoughts. Maybe she was truly speechless of how she found me. Maybe she finally saw all the pain and torture her and father had put me through. But, those thoughts quickly vanished as they had appeared when my mother kicked my jaw. I don't wince at the pain because I had grown numb to it all. 'SPEAK TO ME!!' Another kick to my jaw as she screams, 'ANSWER ME!!'

By the time my mother was done abusing me she was panting heavily and her white hair was a wild mess. I briefly wondered how I ended up with my vibrant red hair color when neither my mother's side of the family nor my father's sported red hair such as mine and brother's. We were the black sheep of the family as sister blended in well, if not for her eyes. Her eyes, that were similar to mine, is what had set her aside from the family. Our family sought perfection in the blood line and my siblings and I were not it. They had outcasted us. Made our parents hate us and abuse us.

Mother and father thought they had another chance when brother came around, but when he was born they were surely ashamed. They nearly abused him to death and if it weren't for me stepping in and taking the rest of the abuse he would've died that day. I was selfish. But, I loved him. I took care of him. I raised him.

Sister took him away from me.

He was the age of five at the time and I was just merely fetching some water for our parents from the local store. When I came back I found my brother's room empty and my room in shambles. It was a blessing to even have our rooms at the time. I went mad. I tore the house apart to find my brother and when I found him he was in the basement abused to near death. I revived him that day, but my sister had other plans. She had pulled me away from him and beat me. She had sliced wounds into my stomach and I merely only shedded tears as our parents were a lot harsher than her. She yelled at me. Told me to not care for him. To abandon him. I didn't. But, when the abuse and bullying kept happening to him I had confronted the Devil.

She told me as long as I cared for the boy the more she would abuse him. So, I abandoned him for his safety. He was no longer mine to care about.

She still abused him.

'-thing!' Shut up. Just be quiet. Let me mourn in peace.

'Don't yell at me!' Shut UP!

'DO YOUR PART AND GET RID OF HER!' SHUT UP!!

'Why?!' I broke my other arm free from the dried blood.

'SHE'S USELESS! She's broken! We don't need her if she's going to be this way!' I sit up as I look up at the fighting pair and I break my legs free from the blood.

'Tsk. Wome- AH!'

My father lets out a bellowing scream as I tackle him to the floor and without a thought I bite into his neck and I let my teeth sink into his skin. I ignore the pain this causes in my teeth and the pain in my jaw. Ignore it all as I bite harder and hard into the neck until I rip out the chunk of skin with brute force. The piece of neck hangs in my mouth as blood drips from it and the wound I've caused on the old man. His body is convulsing and I spit the piece of neck out as I stand on my feet and look at my mother.

Her body is trembling in fear as her pupils were nothing but mere specks in her eyes and I take a step towards her and she lets out a blood curdling scream as I lunge at her. I dig my fingers into her eyes as I squeeze and pop the eyes as I tear them out of her head. She was sobbing and shaking underneath me, but I wasn't done with her. I grab both sides of her head and slam it into the ground repeatedly and I don't stop as I only hold a bloody glob in my hands. No, I didn't stop even as I could hear the faint sirens in the night. I didn't stop once as rage was all I felt and the color red was all I could see. I was maddened.

I wanted blood and I was going to get it.

Even if it killed me.

I let out a scream as I bashed the skull once more and I stopped as I panted furiously as my skin burned. It felt as though I was on fire and I raced to my feet as I swayed side-to-side in a daze.

My eyes shifted to my father and I found him lying still in his own blood and he wasn't even moving or making a sound. The bastard was dead before I could have killed him.

I was disappointed, but also didn't care.

I moved through the house in a daze and dizziness as the sirens were getting closer and closer and with one thought I dashed out of the house and into the woods. I just ran to wherever my legs were taking me and I never looked back to the house that had tormented me for years. I didn't feel sorrow for what I was leaving behind.

I was done with that chapter in my life. I was ready to move on and start a new one. A better one.