The Serene Song of The Broken Singer

Ch.VII Trixibella Morris

Danger, Danger, DANGER

Sirens were going off as children were weeping, mothers frantically screamed, and fathers barking out orders. Everything was in utter chaos as the old and young were being shoved out of the building as the middle aged people were being trampled by one another and it was like someone had set off a doomsday alarm. They might as well have as the top floor of the apartment, I was living in, was bombed by something supernatural.

Flames licked my skin as I raced down the stairs and my breaths were frantic and short as I tried to not trip over my own feet in my frenzy state. I was being suffocated by the gas of the flames and my vision started to blur as black dots overtook my vision and I clenched the stairwell railing tightly as I pushed myself further down the stairs. I let out a scream of frustration as I had caught up with the horde and couldn't get past it as people were jabbing one another, pushing each other, and even flinging people behind to get to the exit of the building. It was utter chaos as the sirens were in the background and barking of orders could be heard, but it didn't matter as everything was blurring into one.

My knees were growing weak and before I knew it I was being dragged to the ground by someone who had fallen and they clung to me. I push at them furiously as I scream and cry wondering what I had done to deserve this. I grit my teeth tightly as I punch the person hard in the face and I jump to my feet and run right back into the crowd as the flames were getting closer and closer to us.

'Trixibella! Trixibella!' A middle aged woman runs up to me and I recognize her to be my neighbor. I look at her cautiously as she grabs my arm and holds me fiercely with a wild look in her eyes. I wouldn't put it past her if she threw me into the flames now. 'Trixibella you have to go back! My baby! My baby is trapped in the rubble!' The women screeches at me and one part of my mind was telling to me go save the baby, but the more selfish part of me, wanting to save my own skin, was more prominent and so I shoved the women off of me and jabbed my way out of the horde of people and once I break free from the crowd I bend down slightly as I put my hands on my knees and I pant heavily as I close my eyes briefly.

'Trixibella have you seen my wife? My son?' An older man approached me and soon more people started to gather around me asking similar questions. I try to answer them but the words are caught in my throat as I feel suffocated once more and a nagging voice appears in the back of my mind.

You killed them.

It was such a simple statement, but it was powerful enough to bring me to my knees and I wrap my hands around my neck as I lay out wretched sobs and I shake my head continuously as more people continue to approach me. I felt nauseated and light headed, but I couldn't find myself to tell these people to get off me and before I could take a single breath once more a loud, heartbreaking, crash happened behind me and I slowly turned around to see the collapsed building of my apartment. People were still inside, crying, groaning, screaming, and that's when I vomited on my lap as I closed my eyes tightly.

I was horribly selfish. Horribly, horribly, horribly selfish. A cry scratches at the back of my throat and I shake my head as I could feel a weight being put on me and when I open my eyes I'm met with a person wearing a white collared blouse with navy blue pants as strange symbols were on the shirt. The person leans close to me telling me things, but I couldn't hear them at all as their gloved hands touch me every so often in different places as a concerned face looks at me and I close my eyes once more. I shake my head as my body trembles and a sob escape passes through my lips and the person clutches my shoulders as they start to shout something. I still couldn't make out their words as my ears rang with adrenaline. I felt I could run a mile, but simultaneously combust.

Today I killed a child and mother knowingly. I killed people that have taken care of me for three years. I killed them. They will never see their family or friends again. Some will never be able to grow up and see the world, some will never see their partner ever again, and some just didn't deserve to die in general. I was a terrible person. Terrible, terrible.

This incident will be broadcasted on TVs and everyone, everyone, will know I am a murderer. Everyone will hate me. Everyone will know I am the person who caused them great grief and harm. I'm a monster. They didn't deserve this. It should've been me. I should've helped the mother and died knowing I at least tried. I could've died a hero. I could've died with an easy mind. I didn't do that. I didn't do any of that. No, instead I fought for my survival and now I'll have to face the consequences for the rest of my life. These demons will forever haunt me.

I open my eyes and I look to the old man that had asked about his wife and son and I reach out to him as the words were on my lips. They suffocated me. I spoke not even knowing if he would hear me or not, 'I'm sorry...your wife...she was trying to get me to go back and go get your son who was trapped in your apartment...I pushed her away and..I'm so sorry.' My voice got quiet at the end, but I could see him staring at me. His expression was blank and he looked to the building before looking at me and before I could do anything or the person, who had been helping me could react, the man lunged at me and wrapped his hands around my neck. I let out a strangled sound as I instinctively put my hands on his wrists to stop him, but I quickly dropped my hands as I had realized my actions. I deserve this. I deserve so much worse for killing all those people.

Oh God, this pain and grief is unbearable. I cry out as the man was pried off of me and I fall into the arms of the person who was helping me before and I curl into them crying as I cover my eyes. They were talking to me again, but I couldn't hear them. I'm not even sure if the man was screaming profanities at me because I couldn't hear him and refused to look him in the eyes. I was a coward, a coward.

My chest squeezes as the person stands lifting me in a bridal position as they stand and they're talking to other people. Giving orders and explaining something to them. The person was probably telling people how I savagely killed that man's family and how I should be put to jail. I deserved to be put behind bars.

I deserved so much worse.

I'm laid down on something plastic feeling and I jolt out instinctively, but a pair of firm arms holds me down as I scream and kick and I could feel straps going around me. They were restraining me and I couldn't blame them. I would restrain myself too. I was a killer, a murder, a dead person.

Hysteria is what I felt. I didn't even really notice the object I was on was being pushed, not until it came to a stop a sound of slamming doors could be heard. The space was completely white and it blinded me. I close my eyes as I continue to struggle to get free and I let out a strangled scream as someone grabs my neck and a small prick could be felt. I thrash harder as I wail loudly and exhaustedly, but my heart rate is going down. I could feel myself weakening and soon the fight left me as it was trapped in my chest, but my body couldn't do anything. I felt helpless and so small.

I felt smaller than a mouse.

'Ma'am, ma'am can you hear me?' I lazily open my eyes as I stare at the person who has been helping me and I nod my head. 'Do you know where you are?' I shake my head slightly before nodding it and the person smiles briefly. 'That's good. You're just gonna go under for a bit because my colleague gave you a little too much sedative. You'll be awake in a few minutes.' The person kept talking, but I couldn't make out what they were saying as I continued to watch their mouth move and before I knew it I'm closing my eyes. I let out an exhale before letting sleep take over my body.