𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑. 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘭 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯 𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘴

𝘯𝘳 | 𝘢

BREATHE:
NATASHA ROMANOFF

requested by: idgafabturmama

[tw - bipolar, panic attack]

Third

NATASHA CAME HOME late. She'd gone out with her sister and Wanda to celebrate their recent victory on their mission. Y/N hadn't felt so good so she'd stayed at home.

Nat said goodnight to the girls, who had veered away to join the others in the living room. She hit the button on the elevator, pulling out her phone from her back pocket while she waited.

7 miss calls: My Baby 🤍

Natasha bit her bottom lip anxiously, hand running through her loose, red hair. She'd known going out would end up being a terribke mistake, regardless of Y/N reassuring her that she'd be perfectly fine alone. The elevator doors opened, she entered, they closed and then Nat felt herself moving upwards. She stood in the centre of the floorz foot rapping furiously on the thin marvel tiling. It really couldn't move much faster, could it?

Once the doors finally opened, she rushed along the corridor, shoving her body through the door to their shared room. Her heart melted when she found Y/N curled up in the middle of the bed, hands clutching the sides of her head. Nat rushed over, throwing her jacket away - to be found later.

"Hey- hey, love-" Nat wrapped her arms around her girlfriend, squeezing every so often to bring back some lost pressure. "I'm here now, what's up, baby?"

"I could- I just- felt everything . . . everywhere." She whispered through her tears. Y/N began to rock against Natasha's chest.

"You said you'd be okay . . . " Natasha murmured, kissing Y/N lightly on the head.

Y/N pulled away lightly, running a hand over her face to brush away the tear streams that stained her cheeks. "This is my fault, is it?"

She stood up quickly, pushing herself of the bed in one swift leap. "This, me, this sudden lack of- of- FUCK-"

"I hardly said that, baby," Natasha soothed, "I just trusted your word."

"And my word is wrong?"

Natasha shook her head slowly. "No, baby, that's not what I meant-"

Y/N nodded warily. Her hands began to shake beside her sides and she closed her eyes. Nat stood up quickly, quietly, holding her hands out in front of her to present no threat. Y/N opened her eyes, saw Nat approaching and groaned. "I'm sorry-"

"Be quiet. It's not your fault, Y/N. You know that, you can't help it." Nat said. She wrapped her arms around her girlfriend's chest. "Tighter or looser?"

"Tighter . . . " Y/N whispered, letting the tears fall. "But it is my fault, Nat. Everything is my fault."

"No, it isn't-"

Y/N growled. "STOP TELLING ME THAT! It's my fault! I let him go! I let myself fall! It's my fault! And now-" She choked on her tears and her breath. "Now- now I can't breathe-"

Nat's eyes lit up, and she wrapped her arms tighter around Y/N's chest. "Okay, baby, take a second." She let Y/N flicker. "Now, when you're ready, tell me five things you can see."

Y/N gasped, her chest tightening in Nat's hold when she tried to inhale. "Uh- um . . . the, the door . . . bed, blanket, your arms, your hair."

Nat smiled, "That's my good girl. Okay, just keep breathing. Can you slow it down yet?"

Y/N shook her head, pushing her body into Nat's.

"That's fine, my love, take your time. Shall we move to the bed?" Nat loosened her grip so she could look into Y/N's eyes. Her gaze softened something in Y/N steel wall. Y/N nodded and, slowly, peeled away from Natasha's warmth. It took a second for her to move away, so Nat took the lead.

Nat climbed onto the bed, settled in between the pillows and opened her arms, allowing Y/N to find a comfortable position in between her legs. Once settled, Nat wrapped her arms tightly around Y/N's chest once again.

"Tighter or looser?" Nat asked as she kissed the back of Y/N's head. As Y/N leaned further backwards, into Nat's body, she murmured, "Tighter."

Nat gripped tighter. And for a moment, they just stayed like that, Y/N wrapped tightly in Natasha's arms.

"How's the breathing, baby?"

Y/N swallowed lowly. "Better. I think."

Natasha nodded, "Good. Do you think you could name me four things you can feel?"

Your arms. Your breath. My heart. My clothes.

"Good girl, baby. Well done. Come on then, breathe in for me and hold." Nat loosened her grasp a little to accommodate the hopeful intake of air.

Y/N breathed in and held it the best could, but spluttered a little when she reached a five second limit. She let out a pained groan.

Natasha rubbed Y/N's arm. "It's okay, baby, just tell me three things you can hear."

The others. Your heart. The TV.

"Well done, baby," Nat smiled. " Do I need to keep going?"

Y/N took a rather unsteady breath in hut shook her head. Her heart has kind of stopped racing in her chest, stopped its jumping - like it would escape from her chest. She shook her head slowly. "Thank you, Nat."

"No problem, baby. I love you."

"I love you too." Y/N kissed Nat's hand lightly and smiled. "Thank you."