Chapter 12
"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" I muttered to myself as I walked up the stairs. What was I thinking? But that's the thing, obviously I wasn't thinking, but now I am, and he was. I threw myself down onto my bed and screamed into my pillow.
I had a choice to make, do I tell Josh and risk ruining everything, or do I not tell Josh and let him figure out on his own, causing him to hate me for not telling him? Why can't there be a simple answer to this question? Like when you're 5 and you can't decide if you want Cheez-Its or Wheat Thins for snack. Easy, the answer is always Wheat Thins.
I sat up on my bed and thought about what I would want if the situation was reversed and I was in Josh's shoes. If I had to know I would prefer to hear it from him not from someone else. But would it be better to not hear at all? I have no idea.
I decided to sleep on it and decide in the morning.
However, my mind had a different idea. I tossed and turned for several hours until I finally realized I wasn't going to get any sleep. So I got out of bed and put on a sweatshirt and my tennis shoes. I redid my hair in a messy bun in the bathroom and went for a walk.
I know what you are thinking, "WHY ARE YOU SUCH AN IDIOT? WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING TAKING A WALK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, ALONE?"
Don't worry, I had my phone and pepper spray with me. Not to mention, I live on pretty much the quietest street in the entire United States.
I didn't really know where I was going, I just knew I need to get out of the house and think. I put my earbuds in and put it on shuffle. As long as the music played I continued to walk. Before I knew it, I was out of my neighborhood and a few blocks down at a local diner I used to eat at when I was little with my dad on Saturday mornings. It wasn't my mother's, it had been open for decades. When Abigail was born and the house got a little more busy, we stopped coming.
The old sign on the side of the building was worn and the paint chipping off from years of being blown by the ocean winds. Without even thinking, I entered the diner and sat down in the booth my father and I always sat in. You could still make out on the table where my dad and I carved our initials into the wood.
A few moments after I had seated myself, I woman came from the back with a notepad and pen in hand. "Hello, darlin, what can I ge- I don't believe it, Charlotte Wilson! Hun, how have you been?"
"Miss Shelley! I've been alright, how about you?" I asked the waitress who knew my order like the back of her hand and always had it ready for me on those Saturday mornings, so long ago. I stood up from the booth and gave her a hug.
"I've been great darlin. You wouldn't believe it, I have two grandbabies now. Lizzy, she's 2, and Caroline, she's 6 months old."
I sat back down as she spoke. I gasped and then grinned, Miss Shelley had a daughter who was about 5 years older than me and sometimes we would play together. "That's so exciting, I'm happy for you! Did you hear about my little ones?"
"Charlotte you better be joking!" She exclaimed.
"Let me explain, our school is doing a project with the NCDSS, where students take care of foster children. Josh, my boyfriend, and I are taking care of twin 4 month olds, Sammy and Quinn. Honestly, Miss Shelley, we haven't even had them for a week and I have already fallen in love with each of them. They're amazing."
"That's great, sweetie. Children do that to you, they steal your heart, so you can't get mad at them for anything they do," she chuckled. "Do you have a picture?"
I nodded and turned on my phone, I had set the background to a picture of the twins, Josh and myself. After a few minutes of catching up and ooing and awwing over pictures of both her granddaughters and my twins, she stopped and realized she never took my order.
