Ocean Eyes

5- Assume

I thought the days like those would last... I thought I would have enough time to save myself but it was too late, I got attached to him somehow; his banters that either made me laugh or giddy or both and the scent of his hospital room. I could still remember how his eyes gazed at me with a pleading look before he left. He just left like that, and my chest felt so hollow that I have almost asked my colleague about him. I feel my cheeks redden and my eyes fill up with tears as I recall the way I had misinterpreted his actions and the different spark in his eyes when he saw me. Tanga, ang assuming ko sa part na to.

The scene stung my heart. I've seen it somewhere in a different situation.

As if it came straight out of a K-Drama wherein the soldier had to leave for a mission and left the nurse behind. That part na umalis na si Big Boss for a special mission and then Dr. Kang saw him leaving on a helicopter. I didn't want to acknowledge the feeling but in the depth of the night, in the middle of scanning through patient's reports, I find myself gazing at the x-ray of his broken bone.

Funny, right? A memory of him is an x-ray.

Nabalik na ako sa usual shift ko sa Private Station ng pedia. Naging normal ulit ang lahat. Siya kaya, normal na rin ba lahat?

Hindi ko alam kung bakit nadischarge siya agad, hindi sinabi ni Dr. Evon, ni Dr. Feleen pati ni Daddy. But the way Zarces' face fell, it seemed like it was against his will to leave. Hindi pa naman kasi talaga siya dapat pinadischarge, it will still take 3-7 months for his leg to be okay kahit hindi pa fully healed. He still needs to rest but he didn't appeal to whatever happened that day then okay, baka naman desisyon niya.

"Ginagawa mo diyan?" here comes Stella.

"Wala... Pauwi na ko eh, ikaw?"

"Pauwi na rin. Off mo bukas?"

"Uy parehas tayo," I smiled and took my bag as we exchanged knowing looks. Gago talaga to si Stella. I conceded anyway. I think I might need this to sleep tonight.

"Owi, tama na yan..." pigil ni Stella sa akin nang umupo ako sa nakahilerang mga upuan sa counter ng bar. May pa-contest na gaganapin para sa paramihang maiinom na Jagger bomb after finishing our bottle of JD "Akala ko ba mag-iinom tayo, bakit parang shokot naman mukha mo teh?"

"Tama na kasi yan. Di ako nagdala ng kotse, magcocommute tayo."

"Tumawag ka na lang muna ng kung sino sino diyan sa phone ko. Isa lang, promise!" Little did she know that I double crossed her kasi ang totoo ay balak ko talagang tumoma ng malala tonight. Hindi pa man ako nakaka-apat ay umapela na si Stella. Hanggang halos magkanda-dapa dapa na ako, hinila niya na ako at kinaladlad papalabas ng bar. Pucha naman! Umiikot na yung mundo oh? What's the meaning of this?

I hear a car door open and close in a distance.

"Doc, sorry ah. Galing pa lang kasi kami duty tapos ayon di na ko nakadala ng sasakyan. Oh ano, bakla?"

Everything sounds muffled.

Hindi ko ata kaya ang sakit ng ulo ko sinabayan pa ng tiyan. I didn't have the time to say a word and just began to gag everything in my throat out. Hindi ko na alam kung anong hitsura ko right now but I just want my vision to stop spinning. The conversation made me sick, hindi ko kasi naiintindihan.

"What did she have for lunch?"

"Hindi kami sabay kanina, Doc eh. Hindi ko sure kung anong lunch niya or kung nakapaglunch siya."

"Raoise? Raoisie," he called out but I vaguely remember what happened after that. I just closed my eyes and slept through the entire night.

I woke up in my condo unit, safe and hydrated. Nakita ko pa ang 7-11 na supot na may lamang pokari sweat na binili ni— Gago, sinong bumili? Paano ako nakauwi? Napabangon ako at napatingin sa orasan.