We Are Drowning, How Should We Kill Our Time?

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 I keep knowing so much of nothing the brain can run its hollow circles and inflate itself on empty air but there is no thought that reaches all the edges of one expansion of breath when I feel something like when I wonder at the size of this seed in my palm how it can have a recipe for a life in it roll its edges around in my fingertips I think of the first time a human brought seeds to a plot of soil and tended to it daily I like the word "tend" because it is about care it isn't about production and accomplishment and reaching deadlines it is about a constant toil at the same thing, for the love of it, because it matters - and it is never finished, it is not about finishing it, it is about the tending - I tend to the garden and I like to imagine a hollow tunnel through me through all of my ancestors all the way back to one woman sitting beside the edge of a plot of soil waiting for sprouts there is so much wonder in their small green heads poking out the earth you have so much love in your heart for this sprout that will nourish your life and nourish your family the whole cycle for and with love but now we cut wheat with large blades and never meet our plants as they're ground into plastic containers I hardly remember were food and I shove them down my Throat as I read so many theories and go to bed with headaches for all my brain can't hold and it doesn't drain to the heart the two don't know each other it drains into a heaviness an exhaustion unless I feel a heartbeat through it the words are empty so I put the books down and I reacquaint myself with the greatest one, the living one, as I hold a seed that holds a life and the golden sun dances off its edges and the rain will pour and it will know what to do and how it grows without reading anatomy books where it's broken down under micropscopes - under microscopes you see pieces and out here you see its big web where each thing composed of pieces composes other ones but something breathes through them greater than the sum of theif parts; science knows many things but often doesn't ask the right questions so it knows more about pieces and there is so much for me to learn out here I wanted to be a scholar and write the greatest books and feed only my brain like my body was just its vehicle but I think my brain grows best when catching droplets off my heart and grows best when it has somewhere to expand through the soles of my feet into this soil