Notes From The Nether

Through The Gate

I am fed up of that a reptilian girl who thinks in absolutes where there need never be an absolute. It creates stress. Reptilian mind thrives on that stress, it's why it perpetuates those conditions.

Why should I have to justify myself pitted against a fiction which does not exist in our practical experience of living? That is delusional. Her behaviour is narcissistic for this very reason.

That she is sexually hot does not balance out the volume of abuse I would have to go through being controlled by her decision to feed me her heat or not.

She loses me because if I give myself to her, I will lose me. The option that she might give herself to me is a face-value mask. It is not the underlying structural basis of our relationship. She is the dominator who wants to pull the strings.

I need a world built of more elements than simply fire alone. I will get burned and scorched to ash if she is unable to reign in her own fire. All I can do there is to die.

So with my water, a heavy volume of which says, "I do not want to be abused". It washes her away.

Because I am earth. To the ground and my feet, the wind blowing in my trees and my rivers run deep.

My little son, the one I am to protect, for him it's quite different. I must consider his needs as my own. He is fire and metal, a volcano, lava, the Forge. Useful tools later capable of conducting electricity, in their primal state as yet unformed. It is not simply his younger years for which those energies are raw, rather that is his essential nature. He will be that primal energy until a ripe old age. Perhaps life will temper him yet.

We come as a pair, a partnership which is not always easy. We certainly do not need more fire to antagonise the situation. We need gentle waters to calm and nurture us. Both he and I require soft, feminine energy, not yielding to us always but capable and preferable of it, to harmonise with our own individual needs.

He will find someone to match and balance him in his domain while I must find someone to match and balance me in my domain.

Where we cross over to create our double-male realm, any woman entering our lives will be in relationship with us both. She needs to be a soother, the element water while at the same time channelling his liquid-metallic, volcanic flow.

Something like a Muddy Swamp or Wet Willow, a marsh-forest-maiden to withstand and work with his smelting nature as well as my own woodland soul, the Faun at the well-spring.

I found a Phoenix but they did not get on.
I found a Werewolf but they did not get on.
I found a Mermaid but they did not get on.

All three of those loved gold more than they love men. I have paid three coins already to the Mythic realm since my son came along.

I found a Slaaneshi Daemonette and they got on. She disrespected gold and had none. She loved men more than gold and had many of those and women too. She slithered away when my sons mother chased her off in a scheme of jealous lies.

My sons mother is Harpy of some kind. We do not get on. She also loves gold and has none.

What I have learned is the Old World Mythology is having problems adapting to the Next World Mythologies.

My role in Mayan astrology as Bridge-Between-Worlds encounters such in my relationships, which after all are fundamentally important.

In Mystic Islam, Akira is the name given to the 13 cycles through which we spiritually evolve. Our karmic lessons will be presented to us through whatever form is convenient for the universe when we are ready to learn them and progress.

This means if I relocate to a different town or country, meet different people, have a different job, a different partner, eat different food wear different clothes, all of those factors will be used to present a specific lesson. Those people will behave in certain ways, I will be placed into a position of making specific decisions on some level of my being where relevant.

If I remain where I am, again all of those criteria will be different however the lesson and the decisions will be the same, presented through the body of all that.

The Tower card in the Tarot represents when we have not moved into a position where those things become relevant but are rigidly gripping to the past for stability, which is delusional because the past does not exist. Those structures have to fall for us to be aligned with progress. If they cannot adapt to change, they are doomed.

Holding on traditions is well and good if they still have relevancy now.