Beyoncé's p.o.v
Home
4am
It was too much. Everything got too much. I can't take it anymore. I just feel so down and scared and tired and broken. All I want to do is cry but I'm afraid that it shows I'm weak.
I've lose myself. I can't take live like this anymore.
ITS ALL TOO MUCH.
I don't know. All my life I've been through hell.
My dad would abuse and sexually assaulted me. My uncles would sexually assault me. Even one of my aunts did. My mom has always hated me. She would always shout at me and abuse me. She'd try to choke my in my sleep or bruise my arms. I've lost many friends to suicide. My favourite person, the woman who named me, and had a Hand in raising me, passed away.
Everything has just been piling up. I'm done. I'm not living like this anymore. It's too much.
I wrote a song to get all my feelings out and released it and sent it to my mom before deactivating all my accounts.
I'm going home.
I left my house and hopped in a car. I drove to the edge of a cliff and sat on the very edge looking out at the world. My phone started blowing up. My mom and family were calling and texting me. My friends were reaching out too.
It's funny how when you are at your lowest no one cares till you decide to act on your thoughts.
I threw my phone first before letting my body go.
I'm finally free.
Mama tina's p.o.v
I couldn't believe it. My baby girl was gone. I should've listened to her. I shouldn't have pushed her away. I wish I could take it all back but it's too late.
I listened to her song again. I should've known.
Empty, and numb
Still can't get past all the sadness, and the crumbs I left
Help me, I'm scared
'Cause the one thing on my mind
Is for me to disappear
So mama when I die
Please hold in your cry
Just know that when I'm gone
I'll always be right by your side
And lover, when I leave
I know that we don't speak
I'm sorry that I failed you
But you meant the world to me
I lost my sight
I still can't see all the places
Where there might be light
I used to stare
At the mirror, now I don't
'Cause when I do I see a ghost
It's not my fault that you feel like, I'm so self centered
I'm tryna be better
But I feel under the weather
So mama when I die
Please hold in your cry
Just know that when I'm gone
I'll always be right by your side
And lover when I leave
I know that we don't speak
I'm sorry that I failed you
You deserve better than me
So mama when I die
Please hold in your cry
Just know that when I'm gone
I'll always be right by your side
And lover when I leave
I know that we don't speak
I'm sorry that I failed you
You deserve better than me
I sat and cried hearing the pain in her voice. I can't believe it. My first born. My baby girl. Is gone.
Why did I spend so many years hurting her? I can't believe I said those things to her.
Every day I'd tell her she'd regret everything the day I died and now look at me. Regretting everything. I hate myself for it. I wish I was a better mother.
I treated her like she wasn't even my daughter. I should've hugged her more. Told her I love her. Told her I was proud of her.
I miss her.
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This is depressing because I feel low right now. Btw this is based on real events. Like this is my life pretty much. I have yet to throw my self off a cliff lol but I'm close.
Anyways sorry for any mistakes.
Love you all.
