Dear BTS,
Sometimes I get envious of other people's lives. It's not like I'm envious of material possessions. The thing I want most often is simply a father. In movies, books, and social media I see a father giving their daughter unconditional love and affection. The father is usually portrayed as a person who is there for them, gives advice, and threatens all the boys who are courting his daughter. I don't have that, not even a protective male friend.
I want more friends. I feel isolated. We all claim that you are more than our idols you are our friends. It doesn't feel that way to me. It's true you are more connected to us as army but it's not a friendship to me when I can't talk one on one with a person to, rant and rave about my life and woes. I don't feel like I have that anymore. I don't know if I ever really did.
I don't like to verbally discuss my life. I've only told one friend about the details of my life. I always feel like I'm bothering someone. I don't feel like the people around me actually like me. I had a friend one year in middle school, we were very close, the next year she acted as though I didn't exist.
Because I don't talk with anyone about my feelings I tend to bottle things up inside without any outlet. Sometimes I find I lock myself in a room until my emotions pass enough to control. It's not healthy, I know it's not but I haven't found a healthy outlet. Until then I will continue on this path. Your music may or may not be the only thing that keeps me from falling to my feelings.
nSEp
