Dear BTS
This started in a much more private setting. I secretly wrote out letters expressing every deep dark thing I felt and remembered and went through. I specifically wrote to Nam-joon because it was easier. In 2018 when I first became a fan, my resources show Nam-joon as a smart, wise leader who would be a good person to talk to and a shoulder to cry on. That's also the reason why he was my first bias.
During hiatus I got bias wrecked hard by two members that made me take a step back and reevaluate things. Reevaluation made me understand OT7. Bangtan is not the same if even one member is missing. That being said you are all still individuals with your own personalities and attributes that we as fans may or may not see. Such as losing one's passport. Sorry.
I didn't come here looking for love, although some of your actions test my heart. I was just listening to music through Youtube and found yours. I wouldn't know the first song that led me here but I did prefer songs like Fire, Dope, War of Hormone, No More Dream. Today I wouldn't be able to pick a favorite song if I tried.
I could go on and on about the fact that I'm a little baby fan who doesn't know much about you because I honestly don't care right now. I mean, college is hard. I was in the hardest class I've had yet when I started listening to your music and I used it to keep me going. I'm still using it to keep me going. That time was chemistry, this time it's calculus. I'm not likely to use trig for anything I do, but I digress.
Your music helps me and keeps me going during trying times. I also like doing the dance practices, it helps me with stress. I did it a lot with my best friend with Twice and BlackPink before she left for her college; mine is still in town.
What I miss most about being in high school are my friends. There were a decent amount of people I went to school with that I considered my friends. Besides my best friend and another girl, I was closest with my guy friends. Despite being a girl I don't know how to talk to most of the girls I happen to be around. These are usually the pretty girls who care about their looks or phones more than almost anything. I've only ever worn make up for Halloween as a child, I only care about my looks when I want to and my phone is for games and communication.
I used to be a very social person who could make friends with anyone but for some reason, I lost that skill and don't know how to approach people. If we mutually start talking from there I can make friends but other than that I'm lost.
Thank you
Ranting from S.E.
