Attitude Adjustments -Harry Styles Love Story-

Chapter 17

I am aware of the last few chapters being super short, i'll try my best to make them longer c:

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It felt as if my heart dropped into my stomach, I let out a breath i didn't know I was holding and stepped back "what?" I whispered.

Payton took a step in front of me "please, you need to understand-"

I shook my head "why would you do that?!" I screamed at her "he hates me enough! Don't you think I have enough on my plate let alone you making everything worse!" I shouted in her face.

She looked down, she was crying. I could tell. "p-please let me explain" she sptuttered looking up at me, tears escaping the corner of her eyes. I shook my head "I can't believe you" I breathed out, turning on my heels and stomping away from her. I didn't hear her chase after me, in fact i'm happy she didn't.

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I swung open my bedroom door to see Drew sitting on the edge of Harry's bed with Harry lying down. They both turned their gaze towards me. I walked over and grabbed the note from Drew's hand and shoved it to Harry's chest "Payton wrote this. Not me, so before you go around blaming other people get you're facts fucking write you douche!" I shouted at him. His lips parted but nothing came out, he looked down at the letter then back up at me "If you don't believe me" I looked around and saw Payton at the door "Then ask her for yourself" I watched as Harry's adam's apple bobbed up then back down in his throat. Harry turned his head to face Payton, she looked down and nodded.

"I don't understand" Harry said.

I folded my arms across my chest "join the club" I laughed.

I tried not to cry, I wanted too. But I didn't. I was confused, upset, angry, overwhelmed, scared, yep you name it. There was something she's not telling me, I know it. If she wont tell me i'll just have to find out for myself.

Payton stepped in and glanced at Drew, he stood up and stood next to his sister, wrapping his arm around her shoulder "wait, what's going on?"

I rolled my head back and let out a chuckle "Payton didn't tell you either then?"

Drew shooked his head and looked up to his sister

"I-I didn't mean for any of this to happen" she whispered looking between Harry and I.

Harry stood up, his eye brows were furrowed and his lips were parted slightly, a few curls flopped over his forhead and his green orbs staring intently at Payton.

"So tell me then Payton" I snapped "What did you mean to happen?"

She looked down and fiddled with her thumbs "I don't know" she whispered, he voice cracked mid sentence.

"what was the point in all of this? You wanted to make Harry hate me more?" I laughed again "I didn't even think this was possible" I glared at Harry.

Payton lifted her head to say something but I beat her "You know what, i don't care" I stomped past Payton nudging her shoulder with mine when I did.

I was hoping that maybe by the end of the summer me and Harry were at least civil with each other, but that's blown out the fucking window. I stopped out of the house and ran out onto the beach, it's already started to get dark, the stars almost visible along with the moon reflection onto the beautiful oceon, I walked over to a rock and climbed ontop of it, I let the wind complement my face leaving me with goose bumps and my hair blowing behind me, I looked up into the dark sky "I miss you daddy" I whispered, watching the brightest star "I wish you were here with me" I look down at the reflection of the brightest star in the see "I need you" i blinked back a tear and let my head fall into my hands "don't cry Beth, don't cry Beth" I rubbed my eyes, my breath becoming shaking remembering what my dad used to say to me 'crying doesn't indicate that you're weak. Since birth it has always been a sign that you're alive' and that's when I broke. I just snapped, like a twig. The tears were uncontrolable.

You know when something happens, and you get upset about it, then something else manages to slip in and make everything worse, then another, then another. Everything was just piled up on my shoulders, I just collapsed, unable to breath, making you feel sick and dizzy from all the crying, you feel faint but you still try and avoid being caught. 

That's me right now, hidden away on the beach, on a rock. Just blending in with everything.

I can't trust Payton

Harry is a complete dick

Harry hates me

Payton Hates me

My dad is no longer on this earth for me to cuddle and cry about my problems too

My mum is all the way back at home

I need to go back to the house before I end up drowning on this rock

What will I say?

I wont be able to sleep

I'll end up crying again

Harry will see me cry and take the piss out of me

They'll see that i've been crying

What do I do?

i sighed and wiped my eyes, I tamed my frizzy hair and stood up looking up to the brightest star "I love you dad, good night" I slowly walked off the beach, leaving my small foot prints beind me. 

I reached out the door knob and twisted it, I swung it open and took in a shakey breath and stepped in. Carol, Drew, Payton and Harry all stared at me, I avoided eye contact with any of them. I shut the door quietly and started walking towards the stairs. I stopped at the doorway of the living room where they all were "good night" I whispered, my voice cracking slightly, I carried on walking up the stairs and into my room. I shut the door and changed into an oversized top, I jumped under my covers and as soon as my head hit my pillow, I broke all over again.

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