My Sea, My Sunshine (Yeonbin fic)

Chapter Eight: You, my lovely thing

Head's so empty but heart's not.

Brain's so alive but soul's not.

Soobin's been feeling like a puppet. A slave to the unwavering driving force inside his head. He's living for sure. But nothing excites him- in simple terms, it's feels like losing an appetite, like his metabolism fades down. Everything's so bland. Like a living shell, he feels so worn out.

Maybe life would have been in a more enthralling aspect if Soobin has some kind of hobby. But he doesn't.

And now he just sat there, on the green sofa of that student lounge, looking at the spider spinning web around a fly that's trapped.

What would the fly be thinking? Would it be panicking- would it be trying its best to rip itself from the grip- would it be wiggling its best to survive or just stills in defeat or does it even have the ability to know what's going on. Because, in his case, Soobin doesn't know what's wrong. Obviously in the better condition then that dying insect.

But even still, he feels sick. No. Not his body. It's his head- it's been going in a circle of melancholic steps.

Of course Soobin wouldn't know. He's not a doctor after all.

It's already October again.

Through the dainty glass windows, 12 pm sunlight could be seen glaring down the typical busy streets and crowded, classy buildings. Despite the brazen color it holds, Soobin knows its heat is spineless. Bangkok's much colder this year.

He's currently there, just shiftlessly waiting for Kai to finish his class so the two could grab lunch somewhere. Just anywhere. Anywhere is better than being inside the university walls that brings back too much nostalgic memories from his first year.

Soobin still hangs out with Yeji's squad but not quite much after the incident- that pure tragic film genre. The tall boy mostly stay caged inside his apartment but often, Kai would insists that the he should exercise his limbs and be in a healthy merry state.

It's just Kai and Soobin now. Beomgyu and Taehyun have moved to UK as exchange students for their last years. The group is still as active as before in the group chat though and soobin's grateful for that. Their presence sometimes put Soobin out of his doleful state. Plus these boys put in a lot of efforts to keep their friendship ongoing and that's effectively working well.

Soobin, unlike the enthusiastic guy he deemed to be before, can no longer wake up early. So he mostly took afternoon classes.

It isn't that insomnia chased him or tormented him- but it's just that soobin, during the dull hours of unfriendly nights, choose to blink at the blank canvas of his ceiling or just going through the gallery of his phone to reminisce the memories with a certain red haired male.

It's frustrating.

Often, soobin sees the boy in his dreams, those repetitive dreams. And yes the boy of his dreams, Yeonjun, is always there, standing and smiling. And soobin could never move. He couldn't reach out nor speak.