things

Things no one knowns

She hated life, but not that much that she wanted to leave. She still had these moments with her friends where she was happy. She ignored the marks on her arms from her breakdowns. She ignored the fact that the anger in her was growing every day. She ignored her feelings for her crying wasn't a weakness but it wasn't exactly a sign of strength to her either. 

She wanted to escape the hell called living. So she picked up a book and began to read. Her mind calming and the time passed by.

Reading fulfilled her making her forget the bad things in life until her mother screamed for her to come downstairs. She rolled her eyes and stood up. She didn't want to stand up and leave for something she had to do that she didn't want to do. 

She didn't want to get yelled at once again. She didn't want to hold it all in, but she had to exactly how she was taught to. She didn't want to stay silent but she did. Silent crying in her room never showing anyone her real self. Never letting anyone so close as she did with them. They betrayed her, broke her trust. And now she can't trust anyone anymore.

They heard chatter from her room and thought she was just watching something on her TV. Little did they know she lied there behind that door on her ed every day and night crying, crying writing down everything that was bothering her. Writing it down because no one will ever care enough. No one. She turns on the TV so no one hears her cries. Her anxiety is eating her alive as well as her thoughts. 

She hardly gets any sleep. She wants her thoughts to go silent just for a while they should. So she can rest. She wants to be alone but not feel alone as she does. She wants to be there for her friends but she is dealing with enough of her own problems.

A/N: again a creative dump post :)