things

I don't need your shit in my life

A/N: You don't need to read this. if you want to then do, strong language ahead 

30.12.2021

My head is spinning. Everything is too much. Talking, thinking, walking anything I try to do feels like it's too much. My head is exploding with tears running down my face day after day. Concerned friends and family making me crazy. I want to be left alone let me deal with my problems. But I don't want to feel alone I want someone to hug me without this hollow feeling I want to be hugged and feel safe or just feel something. Everyone is saying things like "Why are you like this." "If you can't talk with me then with who" "I have never seen you like this" "Stop saying your life is shitty". SHUT UP I didn't ask to feel this way to constantly be annoyed and drained of all energy. I don't want to talk to you cause I'm not sure how to say it and by the way, if I was wanting to talk to you about it I would have already done it. And if I don't talk to you I will talk to the dead they listen and never judge they can't even talk or I'll just talk into the sky both don't judge or talk shitty things back, I DON'T HAVE TO TALK TO YOU JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE MY FUCKING MOTHER. And news flash Idiot you have never seen me like this because I don't want you to see me in such a situation you just saw me like this because I couldn't hold it in anymore. And another News Flash maybe me saying that my life is shitty is a form of reaching for Help? You never think, everyone never thinks about others, and yeah you have problems too but that is no excuse to dump them on me and not expect from me that I think you'll help me in my time of need when I helped you in yours. FUCK OFF EVERYONE all I want to do is live my life in peace and my own balance. I don't need you to tell me what to do I will figure it out myself and never again try to tell me what I need to change if I see that it needs to be changed it will be changed by me IT IS MY LIFE not yours get that into your FUCKING HEAD.