Teen Wolf Stiles Stilinski x reader

Bittersweet

I'M BACK! THANK GOD THAT I AM BACK IN MY DYLAN OBRIEN PHASE, SO I MIGHT PUT MY SPIDER-MAN STORY ON HOLD SO I CAN WORK ON THIS ONE.  

Brooklyn's POV

I have lost four people. Four people that I love and am never going to get back. Kira, Liam, my father, and Stiles. I haven't heard from any of my friends since last night, I know that they have been spending some time with her parents and planning on a funeral. I don't think I can handle attending another funeral, I had to leave early because I couldn't handle the last one. I still think about Liam every day. Scott knocks on my door, "Hey."

"Hey."

"So they are holding the funeral tomorrow they've decided, how have you been holding up?"

"Don't worry about me, worry about her parents, they must be devastated."

"Yeah, it all happened so fast... why Kira? Why would Void kill Kira, I thought it was gone for good."

"Yeah it doesn't make any sense...did Stiles know Void was after her?"

"No, I don't think so, why?"

"When you left with Derek, he showed up right when we realized Kira wasn't with the real Stiles."

"I told him to come."

"Oh. Alright then."

"Is there something you're not telling me, Brook?"

"No."

"Tell me."

I sit upright and look at him, "When you left, I felt something. I don't know what or how but I knew Kira was in trouble and that's why I called her. I felt physically sick and I had this feeling that I have never had before. It was my fault, if only I had caught up to her sooner, I could have stopped this from happening."

"No this couldn't have possibly been your fault, you didn't know."

"But I did!"

"Look, it's normal to have a bad feeling about something, it could have been a coincidence. I mean how could you have possibly known?" 

"I don't know."

"What you're telling, doesn't make any sense. I don't really have an answer... maybe it's just all in your head."

I grab my phone to see 32 notifications. 0 from Stiles. "Yeah you're probably right, I'm probably just overthinking this."

"You just feel guilty, just like how I did when Liam died, and like when Stiles did when you hit your head-

"He would have had the answer."

"Hmm?"

"Stiles. If he was here, he would have known exactly what's going on with me."

"Well he can be here, why isn't he?"

I ignore him and he sighs, "You know it's really weird seeing you guys like this, I have never seen you guys fight before. I mean I'm guessing it was a fight, but I hope you guys figure out whatever it is.

**************

It's cloudy.

It's cold.

Not a single breeze.

Not a single smile or sound.

Just people dressed in black, looking like they either have been crying or are just numb.

Everyone has given their speeches and some people are getting ready to leave. Stiles was the last one to come, and he stands alone far from my friends and I. Scott spots him and decides to walk over but Stiles instantly turns around and heads to his jeep. "Hey, Stiles! Wait up," Scott calls out but he ignores him and reaches for the door when Scott catches up and stops him. Stiles rubs his head while they speak and I can't hear them anymore. Our parents get ready to leave as well as my friends. I then notice Stiles and Scott shouting at each other and so does everyone else but they choose to ignore it. 

"Oh god," his dad says, "I think we should just let them sort this out on their own, Scott knows the way home."

"Yeah we aren't that far from home, and plus we don't want to be late to go to the Yukimura's house," my mom adds, "Brooklyn do you know what's up with them?"

"No... it's probably just their emotions getting to them. You know with everything going on, we can't seem to catch a break."

She shakes her head and we start to drive to Kira's parent's house but I ask if I can get dropped off at home. She understands and does so, asking me to let Scott know where they will be. 

I am absolutely starving, I don't have the energy to make anything. You know what? Fuck it, I've been eating way too much lately and the last thing I want is to gain more weight. This house is a mess and I can't even sit on the couch because it is covered with clothes, food... and alcohol. My mom doesn't drink, it's probably Scott's dad. I guess it helps him relax when he's stressed about us or his job. 

I grab the bottle which reads Tequila.  I know this stuff is strong, and I want to get my mind off of everything and feel good for a while. I open the bottle and I chug. "Fuck!" I cough and almost gag from the bitter-sweet taste. 

I force myself to take another sip and it isn't as bad anymore. It has a kind of fruity taste. I can't remember the last time I felt happy, all I have been feeling is sadness and now it's just... numbness. All the time. I can't stop myself from drinking even more just so I can feel something, anything.

I can't feel anything yet as I walk to my room and turn on my speaker. 

I connect my phone and press play on my playlist, the first song is Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush. I turn the volume all the way up, close my window, and stumble against my own feet before hitting my bed. I think I can start to feel the effects of the alcohol now and I feel lightheaded. I turn my head and see my reflection in the mirror. There is mascara under my eyes, I hadn't even realized I had been crying.

 I get to my feet and walk to the bathroom to wash my face, looking into the mirror I see my face. I notice a few new pimples and I don't like it. I don't really like my face, I hate the way my nose looks, and my lips are too big. As if that isn't enough, my stomach appears to be bigger. I am not attractive at all... now that I think about it, not even Stiles has complimented me on my appearance. All these years when he has pointed out how funny I am rather than how hot I look, it makes sense. I mean sure he has called me beautiful or pretty a few times but he obviously doesn't mean it. He deserves someone way better than me. 

I see that my eyes are red, so I rub them and when I open my eyes I see Void in the mirror. I gasp, turning around but there is no one, nothing. It must be the alcohol. I head back to my room and lay on my bed, screaming the lyrics of the songs on my playlist.