I know I'm young, but I'd like to believe I know what love is. Wonyoung and I have been together since we were 14, very young I know, I know but I have no regrets. Being with her all this time has really made my life so much more fun and bright. Love is complicated but I do feel so much for Wonyoung. She's the light of my life.
Anyway, Wonyoung and I started dating a little bit before we joined produce 48. We would walk to school together, hand in hand. We'd visit each other's classrooms during lunch and eat together, sharing lunch, feeding each other. We'd spend late nights together, studying, training and talking. We spent every moment together and nobody else comes close to how much I care for Wonyoung. Just thinking about her makes me swoon.
One of my favourite memories with Wonyoung is when we had our first kiss! Not because of the kiss but because of the situation. We were at practice, and we decided to stay late. We were preparing our for our produce 48 auditions and decided to help each other out. Wonyoung was showing me all her ideas and everything she planned to do and I did the same. We gave each other proper feedback but I started to feel nervous...
"Wonyoung-ah...What if I don't make it?" I whined as I sprawled my entire body out on the floor. She sat next to me and tried to reassure me but I was too anxious and kept rambling on nervously.
"I'm hopeless"
"I'll mess up the lyrics"
"I don't have a personal talent"
"What if they think I'm boring?"
"Maybe I'm too tall"
"An I ugly?"The last sentence was the final straw for Wonyoung.
"Stop." She was obviously annoyed at what I was saying but I didn't stop. I sat up and clutched my knees and just continued to list all my shortcomings.Mid sentence, Wonyoung leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek. She giggled after seeing that I finally shut up and started laughing out loud when my face went bright red.
"Feel better?" She teasingly asked.
In retaliation, I decided to kiss her back. I leaned in quickly, to catch her by surprise and I aimed to give her a peck on the cheek while she was laughing at me...but she realised what I was doing and turned her head to say something. And my lips landed right on hers...Silence...
"Oh." I whispered as I slowly pulled away
"Oh." Wonyoung replied, her eyes widened with shock and confusion.
"I didn't mean to kiss you, well I did, but I was only going for the cheek! I didn-" I was trying my best to explain but it didn't seem like Wonyoung was listening to a word I was saying."I don't mind..." she sheepishly smiled at me, cheeks flushed and ears pink. We were both obviously very flustered. She could probably see I was extremely nervous and felt sorry, so she gently put her hand on top of mine and gave it a little squeeze. As if she was saying "it's okay".
A few moments pass, we sit in this comfortable silence, holding hands, my knees clutched to my chest. We haven't made eye contact, we're both still too stunned to do anything. As the unnie, I decide to be bold and take some action!
"That was my first kiss..." I whimper. I had lost all power in my voice due to how flustered I was. I look up at her and we make eye contact. She laughs, "Yeah, me too...I wouldn't mind if it happened again you know...?" She shyly says, looking down at the floor.
Oh crap. I'm sweating. I don't know what to do in this moment. An accidental kiss is very different from an intended kiss but I got for it anyway.
Wonyoung raises her head to look up at me, eyes wide open, waiting for me. I start to lean in....when we accidentally make eye contact. I laugh and she laughs but we try again.
"This time, close your eyes Wonyoung!" I'm laughing so hard, I can barely breathe. She does as I say and shuts her eyes. Wow. She's really beautiful. Flawless skin, small face, big eyes, plump lips. Plump lips...lips...I'm going to kiss her lips????
I take a deep breath, close my eyes and just go for it. I lean in slowly and feel our noses touch first, then our lips. We're both smiling as we kiss each other gently...and awkwardly. Our hands find each other and we interlock our fingers.
Eventually, we pull away and we're both completely red in the face. We're giggling and shy but happy.
I love her more than I love anything else. She's my favourite person in the whole wide world. She's my best friend, my number one fan, my best supporter and of course, my girlfriend. Wonyoung is my number one, she is my priority and I can't forget that. Ever.
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