Things I Wanted To Tell You

Unseen Messages

"Where's my seat?" I said as I went to one of the table. I didn't know where I was or what the event is but you were there too.

"Here." You said as you moved a chair beside you. I was confused, why would I sit beside you? Are we still that close for me to sit beside you? Nervertheless, I sat down and began to eat.

"I..." I started talking while looking at you beside me. You looked at me expecting me to continue it. I sighed. "I sent you a message. You didn't reply. Did... Did you read it?"

There was a silence. You know back then, I loved the silence between us. It means that we may not talk but we're here for each other. Now, for every silence you give me, it represents how you are fading away from me.

You averted my gaze, stared in front, and said the words I was afraid to hear. "I did. I just didn't seen it."

Was it pain I felt in my heart? My throat suddenly felt dry that I had to swallow many times. I looked around trying to contain the pain I just received. Silence was painful, but you admitting things are more painful.

I stood up preventing my tears to fall fown, and left the venue. I heard you calling my name but I didn't look back. It was too painful to look at you.

It's been years, but the pain of us still lingers like a fresh wound every day. I must have been crazy to feel this way but one cannot help it if it is too hard.

When I found a restroom. I cried my heart. Why was it so hard to let go of someone? Why is it too painful to see you?

If only I could stop feeling. If only I could dictate myself to forget you, I would.

This pain I keep bringing to myself, when will it end?