One True Queen: A Wings of Fire fanfiction

49.

Warning! Big big warning! I write about a lot of really messed up stuff, and normally I'm pretty good at dealing with it, but not gonna lie, this chapter messed me up. It's an important one for this story and I'm proud of it, but yeah, get some tea, get a blanket, feel free to scream in the comments, and if this could be upsetting for you then, not that you need it, but you have my full permission to skip this one. If you've read Jerboa III's backstory, this one has Jerboa II's, so you know what you're getting into. My goal with this one was to show as much as I needed to convey what the character is going through and no more; I never wanted it to feel shock-value-y.

It deals with: childhood trauma and abuse, descriptions of sickness, brief, non-graphic description of vomit, brief descriptions of blood, and the start of a murder scene (nothing too graphically described, think Darkstalker killing Arctic in canon), the Jerboa cult, and generally disturbing themes. Ok, you have been warned. 

Jerboa

The sky is spinning above me, the white-hot sun burning into my retinas.

I cough into my wing. My ears are ringing so loud I can barely hear it.

That's the sun. That's my domain.

I lift my talon gingerly up toward the sky.

"Leave me alone," I whisper, with the last bit of strength I have. I close my eyes, gritting my teeth.

When I open them, the sky still burns blue—blinding as ever.

I'm going to die here, aren't I?

My vision starts to fade to darkness. I laugh a little, spinning the beaded bracelet on my wrist around and around and around—

***

I made this bracelet. I remember, now.

I remember fumbling with the wooden beads in my talons, as light streamed in through the kitchen window.

"You should make a pattern. Like—star, heart, triangle, star, heart..." my mother said, arranging the beads on the table.

"Oh. Okay." I put the beads on a piece of rope in the order she set out until it was full-up. "Now what do I do?"

She laughed. "Here. Let me." She tied a knot—her talons nimbler and stronger than mine would ever be. "There you go." She handed the bracelet back to me.

I turned it over in my talons for a moment. "Is for you," I said, giving her my best smile.

"Awww," she cooed, putting it on her wrist.

"My favourite Mommy in all of the world!" I declared, throwing my wings around her. She liked it when I said things like that.

"I'm gonna make another," I declared. I cut the string myself this time.

"Do you want me to make another pattern?" she asked. "Sunshine, that's way too short."

Sunshine. Sunshine. Sunshine. She was wrong. She was the sun, not me. She always had been.

She placed the rope on my wrist. "See?" It wouldn't tie together. She cut me another piece. I swatted her talon away as she started arranging beads.

"Don't you want it to make a pattern?"

I giggled, shaking my head. "Nope." She sighed, shaking her head, looking at me as though I was being very endearing right now.