New Romantics

chapter eleven

The hall was large, covered in gold and golden lights that combined in an inexplicable way, making the environment more chic and comfortable. People danced and chatted in the hallways, old friends met along the tables, a band played classical music while the singer, who for some reason had gray hair even though she was stupidly young, sat in a chair and drank water.

Halfway through the party, however, there were two pairs of eyes orbiting each other as they danced in sync around the venue.

After a long time their feet started to hurt, so Taylor withdrew, asking karlie if she would like a drink. She then ordered a glass of champagne for each, hoping the taller one would admire the drink as she forgot to ask which beverage she preferred before abruptly walking away.

The blonde felt an odd sensation as she found Karlie entertained with a familiar face once she came back. Toni, the girl from Tokyo, was talking, kissing karlie's cheeks and touching the fabric covered shoulder of the person who had come with the singer.

She knew she shouldn't have come. She knew that Karlie was only using her for pleasure. She knew she was a womanizer, that she didn't care for anyone but herself. And even though it was always explicit, she let herself go. And so she found herself in the middle of a party where she didn't know anyone, her eyes drenched by a woman who was never hers.

Taylor thought about putting the champagne glasses on a table, but instead she swiped them both in one gulp and then took two more, heading tearfully to the roof.

She was now bare feet, her hair kinda messy but still damn flattering. The champagne glasses resting empty on the roof floor, the wind carefully breezing her pale face, that was now kinda reddish from the cold.

"I finally found you, I thought you had left. I was worried as fuck" taylor heard a familiar voice and turned to the door's direction. She just rolled her eyes as she saw karlie standing in front of her, looking worried.

"Oh, were you?" she asked ironically, turning her attention to the sky again.

"Wait, what?" She was now sitting at taylor's side, grabbing her hand, trying to comfort the singer "of course I did, why would you think that-"

"I saw toni. Both of you, actually" she cut karlie, smiling playfully. Her voice cracking, echoing through the empty roof "And you know, I really don't care if you want to hook up with another girl, a prettier or sexier one, I really don't mind, Kloss." She wiped some tears, facing karlie "just don't give me any hope on us if that's what you want. Because honestly, I'm already broken enough. You know what i feel for you and still-"

Karlie cut her speech, looking into her eyes "shut up, what are you even saying. Toni is an old friend, yeah we dated, but that's past. I really don't wanna go out with her, or with anyone if that makes you feel any better. Because the only person i dream about cuddling up after a tough day at work is you. And i'm sorry but how the fuck would i know how you feel if the only thing you do is hide your feelings? You blocked me since day one, it would be completely unfair of you to judge me if i did, in fact, go out with another people."

"Yeah but- the diary. You know how i feel, you read them" she was now crying as if there was no tomorrow, the drink wasn't helping at all.

"What diary, taylor? Have you lost your mind?" Karlie asked, confused, trying to understand what she was talking about.

"But- i- I have to use the restroom, sorry" she got up, but karlie hold her by the hand. "Please, let me go"

"No" they stared at each other, and taylor calmly sat at her side again, hiding her face between her legs.

The two blondes sat in silence for a while, starring at the lights of the city in front of them. Neither of them knew what to say, and honestly they didn't have to. The silence spoke more than any words could ever mean.

"It's gonna rain" said tayor, breaking the feeling of emptiness.

"The weather is clear, there are no clouds in the sky. Why would-"

"It's gonna rain, I can feel it. It's like an odd sensation, it happens every time it rains. I- I'm gonna use the restroom now, excuse me" she said calmly, her voice still cracking, some tears still slipping through her face.

And with that, she walked to the ladies room, her tears only getting heavier, her vision now completely blurry. The blond closed the door and sat on the floor, not strong enough to stand still. She wanted to throw up, she felt dizzy, as if she was gonna faint.

But then she freezed, seem a woman get out of the cabin, washing her hands afterwards - the band singer, taylor though.

"Hey, are you okay?" The woman asked as soon as her eyes met taylor broken into pieces on the bathroom floor.

"Yeah" she nodded, trying to sound strong, failing miserably.

"Don't lie. What happened?" She was now close to taylor, handing her a little help so she could get up.

"It's just- everything. Job, future, love life, it's all a mess. I love this girl, i know i do. But at the same time I don't think she's ready for commitment, and i have a feeling that we're gonna fall apart eventually, and she's kinda my boss so this would just ruin everything. I have a little diary were i write some stuff, you know, songs and all. And i know someone read it, so i assumed it was her. When she asked me to come to this stupid little gown I accepted. Since she already knew, at least I thought she did, there was no reason at all to hide these feelings, right? But i ended up finding out she haven't read a thing and i feel kinda bad...plus, I fear i'm never gonna be able to fulfill my dream of working in the music path. I mean- i had the shiniest wheels, i was seventeen, i was radiant. Now i'm old and boring and pouring my heart to a fucking stranger...it hurts to think nothing is right in my life, ir really does"

"So a sad gay songwriter, you found the right gurl because i'm an expert at this area" the woman giggled, trying to fix Taylor's make up "can you, like, low your back a little bit? Because you're too tall this is hard"

After some minutes of chatting, taylor didn't even seemed to had cried half of the night due the woman's talent of fixing a ruined makeup.

"You know, I think you worry too much"

"Hey, that's what my mom said, don't you dare steal her speech"

"See? Even your mom agrees" she sighed "This karlie girl is probably deep in love with you too. It's probably not a hard thing, you're pretty, kind, looks like a freaking model, you hair literally shines, multi talented. If you were a barbie you'd sell out so fast because you're perfect, someone that everyone aspires to be. So, if i were you i would tell her how i feel. And if it doesn't work out, you give me a call that i can help you with that" she winked. "Wait, i just noticed i never asked your name"

"Taylor Swift. And you?"

"Phoebe Bridgers. Nice to meet you, taylor"