Finding My Heaven

Chapter 18

Isabella's pov

"Are you sure you are going to be alright alright by yourself?" Cristian is asking for the fifth time in the past 5 minutes.

"I will be fine" I say, barely having the energy to reply. The chemo drug is really starting to affect me, I'm exhausted and everything is spinning so much that I could barely even take two steps out of the car so Cristian being the nice brother he is decided to carry me inside and up to my room.

None of the boys will let me take a step out of my bed. For dinner Dante and Rafaello came up with my dinner and they also ate in my room with me. We talked and laughed about a lot of things. It was a nice distraction and they even told me how everyone found out that we stole the dirt bikes, I wish I could have seen everyone's reactions.

Eventually Cristian came into my room and told the boys to leave so I could get some sleep. And that's where we end up now.

I know it's a really sweet thing that he is staying to make sure I'm okay but he's starting to get annoying, really annoying. The man won't leave me alone! We have been sitting in my room for half an hour now and all I wanted to do is sleep but I can't with the constant tapping of the keys on Cristian's laptop.

"I can just stay here if you're not, really it's no hassle" He says sitting back down on the end of my bed. Yeah it's a hassle to me, I JUST WANT TO SLEEP!

"Can you please just leave, all I want to do is sleep... please" I grunted, flopping back onto my bed. Oh maybe that wasn't a good idea because I'm stricken by a wave of nausea.

Cristian just sigs, getting up he gives me a kiss on my forehead and leaves the room finally letting me get some sleep. Soon enough I'm consumed by darkness.

Waking up I rub the sleep out of my eyes and slowly make my way out of bed, walking out of my bedroom door I realise this isn't my house.

Well it is my house but not the one with all my brothers in it. It's the house that I lived in with mum, my step dad and step sister.

"Alessandro, Camillo?" I call out but not even a sound reply's back to me, it's like the house is completely empty

"Mum?" I call out making my way around the house. The old wooden floors still creak under my feet and the same small layer of dust that has always sat on the top of the paintings and photo frames are still there, still sitting in the correct place. Not a thing is out of place. I'm out of place.

"Anne?" I try calling out to her instead because she always seems to pop up randomly whenever someone says her name.

I walk into the kitchen to see mum making some breakfast so I take a seat on the small table that sits in the kitchen. Quickly she places a plate of toast in front of me and turns back around to the sink and starts scrubbing dishes.

"Mum, where is Alessandro and the others?" I question looking down at my plate.

"Who is Alessandro hunny?" She questions but she still doesn't look at me.

"Your eldest son mum, you have 6 sons mum." I started to panic a little bit. How doesn't she remember her own kids?

"Isabella you have no brothers, what a strange dream you must have had" She chuckles and starts to scrub the dishes again.

Yeah what a strange dream I thought to myself as I stared down at the toast that was slowly getting cold.

"Hey mum, where's Anne?" I say getting up from my chair. Where is Anne? I haven't seen her at all.

"Oh Anne is out right now" Her voice breaks in the middle of her sentence. something isn't right

"Mum where is Anne" I hesitantly start to make my way towards her, intensely staring at her every move I manage to pick up the smallest things that set me on edge. she shifted all her weight onto her right leg, her eye flickers to the left ever so slightly and she tenses up the smallest bit at the mention of Anne's name.

"It's all your fault" She mutters looking up at the wall I still can't see her face but I can still see the silhouette of a small tear trickling down the side of her cheek.

"What are you talking about, mum?" My voice quivers ever so slightly as I take another small step towards her.

"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT" Her voice screams laced with so much pain and hatred. She turns around and runs towards me, pinning me against the wall with her elbow pinning against my neck allowing me to barely get any air.

"YOU KILLED US, IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT THAT SHE'S DEAD" her screams make me flinch back, Staring up into her eyes I can no longer see the loving mother that once held them instead all I can see is hurt, hatred and disgust.

The side of her face is littered with a giant burn mark, It's as if half of her face has been melted.

"It's all your fault Isabella" Is all she says as she lets go of me and walks away. I slide down the wall hiccupping from my sobs that are trapped in my throat, my chest feels like it's caving in on itself as my vision gets blurred from all the tears.

"No. no. no. no" I repeat to myself hoping that I will wake up from this horrible nightmare

My eyes quickly shot open as I sat up in my bed, my chest heaving as I looked around at my surroundings. I'm back, It was just a dream, just a dream I repeated to myself in my head.

My throat is dry and scratchy and my eyes hurt probably from all the crying I have been doing.

Weak

After a couple of minutes I calmed down enough for me to walk without crashing into something so I decided to go get a drink of water from the kitchen. The house is quiet so everyone must be asleep.

Once I have gotten my water I decide to sit on the barstool at the kitchen island. staring ahead I just let my thoughts consume me until a hand is placed on my shoulder snapping me away from any thought that is rotting away in my conciseness.

Flinching away from the hand I look up to Antonio staring down at me concerned. I just transfer my gaze down to my hands that have suddenly become very interesting.

"Are you alright?" Antonio sits on the stool next to me.

"I'm fine" I snap back but my voice betrays me as it cracks a little.

"It looks like you've been through hell, have you seen yourself?" He replies straight away without thinking.

"Well why did you ask me if I was alright?" I say with a little yawn escaping my mouth once I finished my sentence

"To see if you would lie '' He simply states. I didn't reply so we were just sitting in silence until he broke it "Why aren't you in bed asleep?"

"Can't" I barely manage to say as another word without yawning again

"Why can't you Isabella" He pushes even further making me even more annoyed by his presence

"Because every time I close my eyes I see them" my head hangs low as my words escape my mouth in a whisper. I glance up to see Antonio's eyes soften, he motions for me to follow him so I do. We ended up in the movie room watching spiderman.

After a while of me leaning on Antonios shoulder I finally give into the heaviness of my eyelids and fall asleep. I can feel Antonio pick me up and carry me somewhere, the warmness of my bed soon engulfs me as I truly begin to fall into a deep sleep.