Now I See You | ✓

Twenty

"Have you spoken to Mom lately?"

I exhale slowly, trying to remind myself that Zeb's really got my best interests at heart. He just worries about me, and is probably sick to death of hearing her bemoan the fact that I keep ignoring her calls.

But I just don't want to hear her tell me, over and over again, that she's not on my side.

"I think you know that I haven't," I reply, running a hand over the ends of my hair, which hasn't exactly been co-operating with me today. I went to bed last night with my hair still in the braid that Aubin did yesterday because I couldn't bear to part with it, but when I woke up this morning, it was understandably a bit of a mess, given how much of a restless sleeper I am, so I had to take it out.

So, that evening, I'm lying on my bed, my free hand that's not pressing my phone against my ear playing with my hair, to keep myself calm throughout this situation.

I love Zeb. I really, really do, and I know that he's got my back and he's with me on this, but I don't really have much time for a conversation about either of our parents right now. They both made it clear that they couldn't really understand why I wouldn't side with Mason over this and that hurts, so I tell him as much.

"Fair enough," he replies, sounding tired. "Has Dad been doing the same thing, too? When I spoke to him on the phone the other day, he was griping that you're ignoring him."

I blow out a breath, trying to rationalist my thoughts in a way that makes sense. "Look, Zeb," I sigh. "I'm not going to ignore them forever. It's just not that good for me, to have those kinds of conversations with them right now. If they'd rather believe him over me, then that's on them. I think maybe once the hearing is over and I've been doing counselling for a bit longer, I'll get back in touch with them again. I'm not that angry, I just need a little space."

"I get that, Judah," Zeb agrees, supporting me, as usual. "You have to take care of yourself."

I hum in agreement. "Yeah. I'm just sorry that you're getting caught up in all of this."

He snorts and I can just imagine him shaking his head at me. "I mean, it's always been the other way around, Judah, so don't sweat it. It's only fair."

He's not exactly wrong. When our parents first divorced when I was fourteen and Zeb was eighteen, he was furious. He was just about to leave home for college anyway, so he spent the last month or so out with his friends a lot, and once he left, he was pretty difficult to get hold of.

He always replied to my messages though, and phoned me regularly, but he just didn't put the effort in where my parents were concerned.

At first, it was a little unclear quite why he was so angry with them, but I think, mostly, it was just that he was completely blindsided. He was angry for a while, because he felt like they'd been lying to him, pretending that everything was fine when it wasn't, and he felt he deserved more than that from them. They'd apparently been talking about it for a while, and had started to feel like they'd fallen out of love years before, while he thought they were the perfect couple.

I completely understand where he was coming from, but I was a bit too young to understand it all, at the time. I think I just didn't really process what it meant, and I had Mason and his family to be there for me while everything was a bit rocky.

I also had Zeb, too, of course, but on the end of the phone, instead of right there. While that's never been anything that's really got to us, I do kind of wish I would be able to see him more than I do.

It seems like he's thinking along similar lines to me, though, because he sighs. "Judah, I really miss you. You know I'd drop anything to come over, if that would be what you wanted, right?"