Carmen Karma[Adopted by MCR]

Chapter 21- Moments

Sleep that night was nonexistent. I tossed and turned for what seemed like hours before finally falling asleep. Before sleep was able to come, my thoughts began; thoughts of my parents. Why wasn't I good enough for them? Did I do something wrong? What if I had an average family... an everyday life? I think about that so often that I've lost track of the number of nights that's what I fell asleep to. The thought of a normal family, a normal, average, life. Beach trips with my parents, getting help with homework from my mom, and arguing over the way things are taught now, but not a serious argument or fight, just an argument out of frustration from both people. My parents letting me sign up for band and showing up to each and every concert. Congratulating me on my achievements, taking me on trips, and showering me with love. This was my dream, even if I was happy here with the guys. 

These thoughts lulled me to sleep, aiding in my dreams, peaceful and sweet dreams. Dreams of my parents and myself being a true and real family. My mom and I shopping for clothes before school starts, and my dad paining over the amount it would cost him as we shopped. Helping my dad with his car projects or organizing his "man-cave." Just simple things I was never able to do, but as quick as they start, they end.

"Good morning, sunshine!" A female voice rang through my ears, it sounded familiar. "Come on, get up. You don't want the day to go to waste now do you?" I turned towards the voice, my eyes fluttering as I did so, only to be shocked to see my mom opening the curtains of my dark and dirty room. She turned and grinned "Hi honey, come out to the kitchen when you're ready, okay?" Then she left me alone in my room. I couldn't help but feel sick in this room. Why was I back here.. back home...

After a few moments of looking around my room, I headed out to the kitchen and sat at the table. My mom noticed and instantly set down a bowl of cereal. "How are you feeling today, Carmen?" I nodded unable to speak. "I'm going to assume that means good." She sighed before going and sitting on the couch to watch what looked like the news. My feet guided me to her, not allowing me to control where I wanted to go. As I got closer I could make out what the news was saying, gasping as I listened.

"Local girl, Carmen Jones, found after months of captivity. Authorities say the 5 suspects Frank Iero, Raymond Toro, Robert Bryer, and brothers Gerard and Michael Way, kept the girl on a large bus used most often for the band My Chemical Romance, which the men were part of. All 5 suspects have been apprehended and are awaiting trial for the charges of first-degree kidnapping and child abuse and endangerment. The parents of the girl say she is doing well and is making a great recovery from the traumatic events she had witnessed over the last months. Back to you - " 

I  dropped to my knees sobbing as hard as I possibly could. Flashes of memories of the guys doing all the things my parents used to do formed behind my eyes as I cried. This isn't right. I know this isn't right, wake up. Please wake up. Don't let this be real. Please. I begged and cried for what seemed like hours in this nightmare, my mom comforting me. Her arms wrapped snugly around me as I tossed and kicked and screamed trying to get away. I wanted out I needed out. They didn't hurt me, please they didn't do this to me, please. please. please. "Carmen, honey, shh shh, it's okay it's okay." My mom lulled trying to calm me. She sounded so genuine, so worried. "Please baby, mommy's right here. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. They won't hurt you ever again." She rubbed small circles on my back, but I only thrashed harder.

"Let go! This isn't real! They didn't hurt me!" I screamed I was finally able to expel the words I had been thinking. "They didn't do anything, you did! You hurt me!" I cried clawing at myself, breaking skin, trying to escape. 

"Carmen, shh, you're confused and upset and hurt I know. I won't hurt you, I'll never hurt you, doll." I froze. "Doll?" I whispered finally feeling the tiredness from my rampage. I went limp, cold, almost dead, but not.  I was relaxed and comforted. I could smell Frank's cigarettes and Gerard's cologne I've come to love. That's all I needed. I just needed them. I wrapped my arms around my mom, sniffing and crying softly. "I'm sorry." Is all I could muster. All I could do was apologize and cry, just like I always did.