Our love

I Love You

My eyes ache and pump with pain as I've cried so much they puff and burn. I swallow my head under water and clench my fists tightly at my hips.

It's been a week. I've never felt anything like this before. It hurts, I hurt. I've never believed it when people claimed their heart hurt for someone else, I never thought anything that strong couldn't actually be true. Right now though, I feel it swallowing my body and taking over any other feeling I could possess.

I want to be strong but the only thing that kept me intact was Emilio. I huff gently and shut my eyes in disgust. Disgust in how little he shown to care. He won't come back or say sorry with his words. He just watches me when I eat, when I walk outside. When anything I do around him, he watches me as if I'll slip away in a second.

I can't tell if it's anger or guilt. I never can with him. His eyes tell stories, stories that feel everywhere and anywhere. I can't read anything he does or act on. It's hard even to believe he cared just a little when his eyes could spark in hatred.

I step out of the shower and swipe my towel. Once it's around my body I dry of and head to my clothing. I stand at the mirror, staring at myself.
I do this for long minutes and run my eyes over the bruises on my cheek. I swallow hard as I don't dare to look at my body or back that almost designs in different textures and stories.

I exhale heavily and finish putting on my cloths, doing my hair and brushing my teeth.

〰️〰️〰️

I walk through the hall to my cell and hold my stomach as it turns in the eery thought that what I'll walk into will only kill me more.
I grab hold of the railing and pause when my wrist is held tightly. "Where you goin" a deep voice hums.

I swallow the hatred in my body and turn my eyes slowly. "Where does it look like?" I growl. The attitude in my body basing of the anger for Emilio.
He huffs out a laugh and turns back to his friends. He holds his jaw and ties his eyes back to mine.

I steady my pupils and follow everywhere he goes and every reaction he takes. The calmness in my expression intimidates him. I see as the fire only builds to his ego. "Let's go, you look like you need something to add a smile to that pretty face" he laughs. Reaching his hand for me.

I scoff under my breath and pull myself before he can reach me. "Fuck off" I say, rolling my eyes and turning my body back to the stairs.
I take a couple steps and listen to the laughs and teases his friends send to him. I wish I would know better in letting my guard down due to thick lack of care. "Get the fuck back here" he growls, grabbing the base of my neck and pulling me back to him.

His breath is against my ear and my body is held in place. I grunt lowly and look at all my stuff scattered around the floor. As the last metal tin halts to a pause the pressure applied to my body becomes tightened in fear. His breath shutters and his throat rolls down a hard ball of saliva.

"Why are you touching her?" He asks. The depth of anger in his voice quickly boiling over as the seconds pass with me in another's arms. He lets me go and shakes his head slowly while looking up. "Sorry man, I ju" he starts. His terrified voice stopped by the thud ran against my ear.

I turn my gaze and look up at him. He's standing over the man and looking up at me with tunnels of emotion swallowing his face. I don't move or say anything.

The anger overwhelms him and his fists begin batting into the face of the man who's laying on the ground, grunting with each hit. Laying limp and taking the beating he can't escape.
He friend soon run of and officers pour into the room. They pull Emilio of him while others speak into their talkies.

Over the loud scolding, Emilio locks his eyes into mine and never finds anything else. He mouths 'I'm sorry' and my body internally dies with the need of how much I craved that.

It felt better than I imagined and it lifted a heavy weight of myself that made me feel lost without him.
He makes me feel special whenever he looks at me and sometimes I even question my appearance and personality because the way his eyes cover me make it seem that there's so much more.

I swallow deeply and cling myself to him. Even tho his hands are around his back I hold his neck and feel the relaxing pause in his body. I hold my mouth to his and look at him. "I love you" I whisper. Trapping his reaction with my lips to his.

When I pull away I force myself to look at him and find a real smile painted on his face. Dimples dig into his cheeks and true happiness sparks through his eyes.
Even though everything about him to see is so important, I can't help but notice the distant fear and guilt that runs over his eyes.

The officers being pulling him away with no consideration to the way we still look at each other as if this will be the last time we'll be able to see each other.

I exhale heavily and turn myself to walk to the cell. I swallow the anger inside myself and breath out a new feeling. It calms my chest and blurs my mind. Even if he didn't say it I could see the way his eyes spoke so aggressively. He didn't say anything because the shock inside him made everything else impossible.