Our love

Lost

"What does this one mean" he smiles.
My body feels light and calm as fingers linger and trace over my tattoos.
I gaze back at the one he's referring to. It's the one on my lower back which resembles Emilio.
I blink slowly and lay my head back on the floor. "I had a cat name Ethan" I lie. Giggling softly at my stupid but believed lie.

This is one of Tony's friends. He snuck into my room with a blunt.
We're now so high it's impossible to move out of the comfort of what feels like clouds. "Your really pretty y'know" he whispers. I shush him softly and shut my eyes.
"Your high" I remind.
We laugh..
"What about this one" he says. His fingers push my shirt further up as he pulls his warm touch underneath my breast.
I gasp gently and find no reason to look at it.
I push my body away from him but his finger moves and remain as if stuck and chained.
"You must've loved that cat, or had lots with the letter E" he assumes.
I tighten my eyes silently...
"Yeah" I don't explain my answer

He lays himself beside me and forces our eyes together.
I still feel his hand resting on my back in comfort. "I'm Miles" he tells. I roll my eyes and groan. "If your not high enough to realize nothing is going to happen leave" I state.
I roll over and place my back to him.
His hand still sits so gently against now my waist. So light I barely feel it..
"I don't think any drug in the world could make me think otherwise" he whispers..

I shut my eyes. "Tony!" I scream.
My voice is hollow and terrified. Miles jumps out of his rush and sits up.
His hands become rough and stiff, turning me over and looking down at me.
I'm unfazed and clearly being a bitch. He smiles faintly and rolls his eyes.
His mouth parts to open but my expressions quickly snaps in action. Tony bursts through the door with force, "What the fuck Miles" he states.
In seconds Miles is gone. I'm alone and on clouds again.
Miles fell and now I'm left
In my own happy world.
Good bye Miles

~~~~~~~

"I do" I whisper. I'm crying and smiling.
I'm excited but terrified. We're both smiling but his is disguised and covering something deathly.
"And do you Emilio, take Michelle Maria Romano as your wife" the priest voices.
He doesn't mirror my emotion. He's stiff and disgusted.

The smile fades and reveals the deathly gaze he holds behind.
He begins shaking his head as my entire soul drops. "No"
He's gone
He's dissolved from my hands.
He's slipped through my tight seal of love.
I scream and cry for him.
I yell his name so loud the entire population will know it by the end.
But nothing..
I'm stuck in nothing..

Until he's there.
Away from me and staring so blankly. "Michelle it's not you" he grumbles.
I cry out..
Please Emilio.

"Michelle!"
I hear my name said after and over. My breathing is caught and my lungs are stuck..
My cheeks burn in streaks with fire filled tears.
I grip onto the hands around me. "Open your eyes"
I do.
I see Tony staring down at me with erotic and petrified eyes. This happens to often for him to react any other way.
I can breath now

"Are you okay" he asks. Brushing my hair back with free touch.
I nod and feel the saliva fill my dry throat again..
"Just a bad dream" I whisper.
I raise my body and hiss soft. My head pounds like my heartbeat which I taste in my mouth.
Both our breathes are static and unstable. My eyes run to my door wide open..
I roll my eyes as basically all Tony's friends watch in horror. "For Christ's sake!" I curse.
"What" he says, following my reaction and reaching the sight.
He clears his throat and pulls himself away. "Go home"

We both stand.
He's out my room before me but once I exit they all snicker and grin with humour...
"There's no way you don't at least think about doing shit with that!" one of them groans.
I tighten my eyes in his disgusting comment, it was quiet but somehow I heard and found my way to it..
"We can do this another time" Tony says. A half hearted laugh reaching through his throat.
I make my way to the kitchen and act as if nothing..

I drag my hands down my face with regret. Feeling the cold tile and air press against my body sending light back into me.
The door slams shut. Tony stands there for moments, I can't help but wonder if he's embarrassed or overwhelmed by it all..
"I'm sorry" I say. I can only say that in second hand embarrassment for him..
He doesn't respond.

"Are you okay" He says. I wrap myself around the kitchen entrance to find him leaned against the front door.
I nod softly and walk towards him. "Thank you for everything" I whisper.
He exhales with a heavy breath. I can only help but wrap myself around him when we're close.
"Michelle you seem to say that every day" he tells.
His mouth presses on the top of my head as we stand there silent.
I know I say it everyday
I mean it everyday
And I'll continue to say it everyday

Our moment of peace is stopped by a loud groan from the washroom.
We both freeze, "who is that" I whisper
I feel his head shake roughly as he pulls me away. "I don't know, stay here"
I roll my eyes. "Sometimes I think you forget the things I'm capable of" I scoff...
He slowly approaches the washroom.
As his arm pushes the door open a loud and relieved sigh runs against his mouth. "Miles" he says.

My stomach breaks from the adrenaline as a small smile paints on my lips.
"Your friend gave me some strong shit" He says. The sound of choking and vomiting following after.
"Shit, Michelle get him some water and a wet towel" Tony laughs.
I walk into the kitchen and fill an empty glass with water, the towel becoming soaked in water next as I follow Tony's directions.
I squeeze the remaining water out.
As I walk around the corner Tony's arms are reached in want, I push by him in confidence..

I lower to my knees and lock my eyes on his.
"Can't handle it can you?" I tease. He opens to speak but I  press the glass to his lips.
"Shut up" I smile darkly..
He rolls his eyes and takes the water. I press the towel against his forehead and glance into the toilet...

I swing my arm over his head and flush it.
The cool breeze of the water going down seems to calm and put him at ease.
"I can't send him home like that" Tony whines. I look down at him with his head resting on my hand.
"He can sleep in my room, I'll take the couch" I suggest.
Tony doesn't fight the solution. "As long as I get a goods night sleep" he calls out.
That's the last I hear of him when he disappears into his room..

"Come on" I say. I lift him with my energy and throw his arm over my shoulder..
His head is hung low and his gross breath presses into my face, "can you maybe not blow your disgusting breath in my face" I grumble.
He laughs deeply. "Sure" he whispers...
I drag him out step by step.

I kick my door open roughly. My huffing creating a louder force then his groans of pain, "the fuck do you eat!" I scoff. I throw him on the bed with the release of energy from my body.
"Your really gonna sleep on that uncomfortable couch" he mumbles. He's to weak to move his face which is swallowed in my pillow..
"Your in my bed so. Yes" I snap. He seems annoyed by my answer..

I grab the trash can form the corner of my room and place it next to the bed. "If you gotta throw up again, here" I say. I point down at the bucket through him watching me half dead, he nods.
I glance over too my day old water. "Drink that, and if I'm right there's Advil somewhere in here" I say, searching around my desk and drawers for the known medicine.
"I guess your in pain then!" I smile..

I reach the door and look back.
He's already sleeping. His hand is hanging off the bed and his long brown hair is spread over my pillow..
I'm pretty sure I'll have to get rid of that pillow as his drool already puddles on my bedding.
His legs are hanging off the bed as he's too tall and full of length for the mattress. I giggle softly at the humour filled sight..
I fish my phone out of my pocket and snap a quick pic.
I close the light and door slowly..
Good night Miles