My Lucky Charm

Chapter Twenty Five:Harry- London

Have you ever had that feeling when you knew something bad would happen to you once you got out of bed? Well that was exactly how I felt when I woke up that morning. I didn’t want to get up. I wanted to stay in bed all day and skip today’s practice and just relax at home. But it was one of those days when nothing turned out as I wanted. Tomorrow was my birthday and neither Liam, Zayn, Louis nor niall was going to just forget the occasion and just let me be. They had actually come at my place in the crack of dawn and literally kicked me out of my house with a shopping list. I didn’t know what they had planned for tonight or tomorrow and honestly I didn’t want to know. So I just wandered around the city trying to my thoughts and my bad feeling in order.

A month had passed from the day that Astrid and I had agreed to be just friends and somehow our weird seemed like it was going nowhere. We barely spoke now and I hated myself for that. It was obvious for me how much I liked her. There was no point denying that I had agreed to stay friends with her only because I desperately wanted to be close to her no matter what. Especially after I learned what happened between John and her at Christmas. She had told me that she had a fight with john about me but she didn’t specify and I didn’t pressure her but I could never have imagined the truth.

And Astrid didn’t seem so happy either. She was always so stressed out both for the academy and the classes she had missed while we practiced and for our progress. She always worried if we could make it on time for the tour, if we could learn all the routines till the end of the month. She had doubled the practice hours and today was the last day of her teaching us the routines. After that day the only thing that we had to do was practice and learn the routines as good as we could sing. That’s what she said and I was really determined to make her proud of us at the opening show at O2 Arena.

That was what  I was thinking when I found myself at the academy. I was used to come a little early before the practice and watch her practice both our routines and hers for her classes. She was doing the most of them alone but sometimes John would show up and help her. He was still really close to her. It was almost like that fight between then had never had happened. I could never understand their relationship. They were only friends but still they needed each other so much. Even though I was obvious to everyone that they weren’t extremely close. Not like before. I guessed the christmas break had changed all of us.  

I walked into the room that I had walked the first I came here and sat at the same chair I used to sit and watched her. She was in the middle of choreographing “Stay” by rihanna. She had told me she was working with that song just for fun and what she had done with was so brilliant.

I was watching as she tried to figure out a twist when I heard a voice from behind me. “She is brilliant, isn’t she?” I turned and saw Alex. It was the first time I had seen him here and the first time I had ever heard him speak about her. “Yes, she is.” I answered. He was always so distant. He nodded and I turned around to continue watching. I felt Alex rose to his feet and he stepped closer to the window. When he did Astrid came dancing right at him and turned and stared straight at him even though she couldn’t see him it felt like she could sense his presence here. I could sense that when we were practicing too. He was always watching her and for some reason Astrid knew about his constant gaze but she didn’t mind. I had asked if there was something going between about them but no one told me something useful/ the only  thing that I learned was that he was her former partner.

“She likes you too, you know.” Alex spoke interrupting my thoughts. “No, she does not.” I replied. “Trust me. She does like you and she knows how she feels about you but she is afraid.” He told me. “Of what?” he took a deep breath. “She is afraid of the possibility of you and her ending up like she and I are right now.”

“That is really specific.”  I answered coldly. He was speaking with riddles. He didn’t say anything to clarify. “So what could I do to win her over?” I asked. I couldn’t believe that I was actually asking advice for him.

“You can’t do anything. She will come to you when she is ready to go on.” He said.

“So I should wait on the sidelines while John tries to win her over.” I said a little too aggressively.

“John doesn’t love her. He just thinks he does because he is exactly what Astrid needs. Those two could never be anything but friends. Not because they lack of passion and love for each other But because they could never be what each other wants.” He said.

“So I am what Astrid wants?” I asked. I felt that I was talking to a fortune teller. That guy was crazy.

“No. not yet anyway. But you could be. Show her that she can trust you that she can count on you and then she will finally get the courage to open herself up to you.” He said.

“How do you know all that?” I snapped.

“Because I was the last person that Astrid actually trusted here. I mean she trusts John and Anne but that is different. We had shared a love that it was wrong in all the right ways and so right at all the wrong ways. They could never be day when we wouldn’t fight. But still we could never stay away from each other. Our relationship was so destructive. It tore her apart. We loved each other desperately and it ruined us both. But we never saw that influence. That feeling when you are stuck on someone and you know how much it ruins your life but still you would never let go. Because that love is the only thing that gives you so strength to go on to live another day, to fight for what feels right, to be what you aren’t for the people you love only because you know that was what they need. When you are willing to do anything to be anything for them.” He said. I was speechless of how much he actually had loved her. I had never felt that feeling and probably I will never will.

“So you were in love with her. Are you in love with her now?” I asked suspiciously.

“No, you are just friends. Nothing more. Not anymore. She cried for you, you know. When you didn’t show up at her party. She was devastated. And I had to admit. No man had made her cry like she cried for you. She felt so lonely then.” He said. I felt a hint of guilt as I suppressed to urge to tell him that I actually showed up like a little kid. He seemed so wise so experienced. But I guessed he was at least as far as Astrid in concerned.

“You know her so well.” I exclaimed. He just nodded bitterly. “so I should wait and show her she can trust me, right?” I asked. He didn’t answer. “Be what she wants not what needs.” He said simply. “Why are saying these stuff to me? How could you know I won’t take advantage of her since you obviously care about her? Why me?” I asked frustrated. I was tired of that weird conversation. He ignored me questions and continued saying his own things. “We accept the love we think we deserve. That what Astrid does. That’s what we all do. So love her unconditionally and she will love you too.” He said simply. He didn’t even look at me and he turned to go. He was going to go and I wouldn’t have an answer. “Wait! Why me?” I asked when he was by the door. “Because you saw her first. Don’t you remember that day on that train?” he said and disappeared. How the hell did he know about that?