Lost ; Daryl Dixon

Chapter 38

You sat on the porch steps with your bag beside you, packed full of all your belongings. You'd snuck a couple of Daryl's shirts in there too, unable to go without some part of him to hold on to. You knew you wouldn't be able to sleep properly without his scent surrounding you, and so you told yourself that they counted as a necessity, even though you knew they were likely to make your heart ache as you lay alone in the dark. You'd thought that he might come and say goodbye, but you realised that that had been naïve. He hated the decision that you'd come to, and he wasn't going to stand there and watch you walk away, pretending that it was all okay. Probably for the best, as you weren't sure you'd have the strength to do what you needed to if you had to watch his heart break again. How could you live with yourself if you caused him any more pain?

You heard pounding footsteps making their way along the street, and looked up to see Rosita coming to a halt in front of the house next door, bent double and panting hard with her hands on her knees. Since the war ended, she'd been splitting her time between Alexandria and the Sanctuary, and you knew she felt that she had to keep her strength up to command the respect of the Saviors that she now had some sort of authority over. He may be an evil son of a bitch, but Negan was a tough leader to replace. You'd always found the woman to be cold and hard to talk to though, so maybe she was already halfway there. You hadn't seen her much since you'd got back, so it surprised you when she gave you a tight smile and made her way over.

'What are you doing out here?' she asked, dropping down beside you and pulling the bottom of her tank top up to dab away the beads of sweat that had formed on her forehead. You saw her gaze flicker over your bulging backpack but she didn't comment immediately.

'Just waiting for it to get a little lighter. How was your run?'

'Yeah, it was good,' she nodded, stretching her arms out. 'There's so much more space here than at that old factory. It's nice to actually see some green, y'know.'

'Yeah, I know what you mean.'

'I guess you spent a lot of time staring at those concrete walls, huh?'

'Too much time,' you agreed. 'Honestly, I can't imagine anything worse than going back to that place.'

'It's not so bad. We're doing a lot of work over there, making a lot of changes. Those guys are used to working their asses to the bone, so things are moving pretty quick.' She glanced over at your bag again, and this time couldn't hold back her curiosity. 'You going somewhere?'

'The Hilltop,' you confessed. 'I'm kinda done with this place. I'm gonna go and stay with Maggie, help her out now she's almost due.'

'What about Daryl? He going with you?'

'No.'

She sighed, and you tried to ignore the frustration that flashed across her face. 'What's going on with you guys, Y/N? We all thought you were in it for the long-haul.'

'So did I.' You ran your fingers through your hair and tried to keep the emotion from your voice. 'But things change, right? People change. All we seem to be doing these days is making each other miserable.'

'So, that's it? You're just gonna leave him?'

'No. I'm not leaving him, I'm just... leaving. I think we both need a little space to... I don't even know anymore, really. I just can't stand fighting all the time. It's too hard.'