Love or War-A Fiolee Story

Chapter 23 - Pain

( WARNING: Be warned If reading this chapter to those who have been in a stage of depression or has or is still in depression and to those who have done self harm. There are some special content about it and might cause urges. Please don't harm yourself, I've been there and I found the light and I believe that you can too:)

Marshall Lee's P.O.V.

I floated away from Gumball's stupid face and went in search for Fionna. He tried preventing from doing so but didn't succeed. I tried the asking the woman in the front desk lobby if she knew where she was. She exploded. It's gonna be hard being able to ask for help if candy people are exploding in my face cause I'm a vampire-demon.

I had no other choice but to enter every room and hope that it's Fionna's.

I walked into the first room that I saw.

" Fionna? Are you here?"

Instead of finding my blue bunny, I found a mother with a crying toddler.
She looked up from her baby and up to me. Her eyes with terror.

" AAAAAAAAFGG!! HELP!"

I tried explaining to her that I meant no harm but her screams dominated my soft voice. She was so scared that she even tree her baby at me. I was fortunate to catch it.

" WHAT THE GLOB! LADY! YOU GAVE BIRTH TO THIS CREATURE AND YOURE JUST GONNA THROW IT ACROSS THE ROOM!?!"

I laid the baby in the crib,while the mother was still screaming. I left the room quickly. What a crazy lady.

I kept going through all of the rooms and finally found the one I was looking for. I heard her beautiful angelic voice through the door; even if she did I say ow, it still sounded like an angel said it.

A nurse walked out the door and I slipped inside. I looked around and found Fionna laying in bed with a grumpy look on her face, but changed suddenly.

" Fionna! I'm so glad that you're Alright! Where's cake? Is she alright also? I'm just so happy you're safe."

I walked towards Fionn to hug, but before I could do so, she pushed me off. A sharp pain evolving inside of me.

"Fi?"

" I think it's best I you leave Marshall Lee."

She looked away from my face and stared at the wall but the pain and agony still remained. Why was she doing this? I love her!

" Fi, please!"

I pleaded. I grabbed a hold of her delicate and soft hands, but she slipped her hands from my grip.

" Leave, now"

I stood up from kneeling and stood firm with a fist in a ball. She couldn't just do this to me.....to our relationship. I loved her too much! Why was she doing this to me

" Fionna, Why are yo-"

" LEAVE!! I don't want you in my life anymore!! Especially after what you've done to me! I'm done with you Marshall!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!"

She had a sudden outburst. It was one that I couldn't help but be upset about. The walls crumbled around me, the floor eating me alive, and her words crushing me in an instant. making me beg for mercy in my body. The knot in my stomache was tightened even more and my throat was letting out no words.

Lexile barge into the room breaking the silence that was wafting.

" Fionna! What happened!? Are you alright?"

Tears spilled from her eyes. Suddenly, she hugged him and received one back. I was enraged. I knew it! He wanted to steal her away from me the whole time! That prick! It was his plan all along! He had played girls like this, gaining tier trust and then BOOM! E would leave them after what he got he wanted.

They quickly pulled away from their moment. I felt my anger building up. That Prick! I left the scene, not wanting to do an action that I would regret.

I closed the door behind me and hung my umbrella on the rack. I wanted to stay in bed all day. I didn't want to see the world right now. I didn't want to see world where Fionna was no longer my girlfriend...........or even a friend. My emotions were all over the place. I was angry, forlorn, heart-broken, and...............empty.

The walls were closing in. The urge was too great. The temptation teased me with its silence. The bathroom was only a few yards away............the blade was only a few yards away. I was tempted. I didn't want to do it again. it was hard keeping myself away, it will be even more difficult now with all that's going on. I promised myself that I wouldn't do it. The cuts heal but the scars were left behind. I was a vampire-demon but that still didn't mean I wasn't a human also. I looked down at my wrist. It was maimed by me and I was the one that still received the agony. I looked up at the poetry I had written. ( BTW, I wrote these while I was on this 'Special Case')

He let's the pain go on.
It never stops.
He gets depressed.
He plays a violin.
The bow is his knife
And the violin is his wrist.
The tune of his soft cries are heard but never understood.
They didn't know the agony of life when they're already friends with Life.
The songs stop, he had played his last melody and had gone to far.
He played too much and now
His violin is rusty and overused.

I remembered this poem. It was my first one. It was the inspiration to write poetry. I guess you could say it needed work but to me it was perfect. I stared at the rest of them. All were different but yet they were the same. Ya know what I mean? Solid years ran down my face and my hand trembled. I can't. I shouldn't. What about my promise. I can't do this. It was hard quitting. It'll be harder if I do it at this time. If only there was someone to save me. Someone that did a long time ago. That stopped the urges. To stop the cutting. I needed my hero.............Fionna.
But Fionna is gone.........and so is my promise.

I stood up from my bed and walked to the bathroom. I opened the mirror cabinet. There it was......taunting me. Calling me a coward, a fool, a loser, a bastard, a monster............ a monster. The blade was there when she couldn't be. It laughed in my face, saying I was nothing but a cruel beast that deserved nothing......or was that my insanity speaking for me? I didn't want to bother.......not now. I gripped it in my fingers. I held it close to my left wrist while in the other held the weapon to my salvation. I was trembling. DON'T QUIT NOW! I slithered the sharp object around the vain teasing my hand and when I was just away enough to not hit a vain, I began to deepen the the blade into my skin and skated it. I pulled back to see what has been done and the sensation of pain crawled up on me. It was distracting but it adrenalized me. I put my head back, letting the feeling go up on me. The sentiment had exhorted me to beg for more and continued the process, saving every feeling to my pleasure.

The floor had been covered in my crimson liquid. My wrist, a scarred area with red bloody lines cover almost every inch. My promise broken and my addiction continued after so many years..................I looked onto the mirror and noticed my blood shot eyes, the red lines appearing in my hair, and the darkened zones under my eyes..........oh, no......,

He's back.