Love gives hope

Chapter 21 "she has a fever"

Meredith's Point-of-View

Today was the day...

In the last week Derek's bone marrow had been extracted, in effect, killing off his immune system, the bone marrow had been purged and was ready to be re-administered. He was weak and very sick, not to mention vulnerable, the simplest germ could kill him before the bone marrow even had the chance to build up his immune system again.

No way in hell I was going to let that happen, even if I had to stand guard at the door. My mother, however, had a similar mindset...

"Alright everyone." She announced outside the hallway that lead to Derek's hospital room. "This is a VIP patient; I've worked my ass off trying to save him, so I am not about to let a single member of the medical staff ruin all my beautiful work. Mr. Shepherd is very vulnerable and susceptible. Everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE," she glanced at me, "will have their temperature taken at the door. If you so much as have a hundredth of a degree spike, if you sniffle or cough, you will be banned from not only Mr. Shepherd's room but the floor too."

She handed a thermometer to Nurse Liz and slapped her chart shut.

"Liz will now be taking your temperatures."

I was third in line. This was ridiculous, I felt completely fine, so this was just a meaningless inconvenience for me. I hadn't seen Derek today and I was itching to see his face, his weak little smile that I knew was only going to get stronger from here on out...

"100.2 degrees Fahrenheit." Liz said, I choked on my gasp as I looked at her in horror, she held it up for me to look at in disbelief, "Sorry Meredith."

"No." I shook my head feverishly, "No, no I feel fine. It's a mistake, take it again."

"But."

"Take it again!" I snapped.

Liz raised an eyebrow that told me I really didn't need to shout at her, I would apologize later. I just needed to see Derek, I needed my fix and then I would apologize to everyone.

She took my temperature again and sighed as she looked at the beeping screen, she turned it for me to see and I felt nauseated—100.3

"You've got to be kidding me." I scoffed, "There is something wrong with that thermometer, I don't have a fever, I am fine!"

"I'll be the judge of that." I heard in my mother's voice as she appeared again, grabbing my arm and pulling me aside so I wouldn't hold the line up any longer. She brought her hand up to my forehead and frowned, "You feel warm."

"Warm. Well warm is normal."

"Meredith, you have a fever." She sighed "You aren't going in that room; in fact, you need to get off the floor all together. You've been running non-stop, and your body is exhausted. All those sleepless nights are catching up to you. Take this time to go and rest."

"I am fine." I argued "I will rest when Derek is through the woods. I have to go in there, he needs me."

I moved through the hallway, but she stepped in my way and turned her bitch face on...I backed off instinctively.

"Do not think that I am past body checking you." She warned me. I looked at her and scoffed...I could take her, I think.

"Mom." I muttered, "You cannot keep me from him."

Her nostrils flared in annoyance, "Perhaps not forever, but for now...it's for his own good. How would you feel if you were the one that killed him?"

The nauseated feeling was back again. The thought of being the one that caused Derek to get sick and die, knowing that I know better...I shook it off and looked at her through burning eyes and sighed with defeat.

"Fine." I gulped, "I will go find something else to do. Please..."

"I will have Liz update you every two hours." She finished.

"Thank you."

She nodded and turned to tend to her surgical wing. Meanwhile, I scurried off to sulk. By the time I got to the basement, I was wiping tears away. I was sure exhaustion had something to do with it. I sunk down onto an old gurney and took deep breaths to try and stop the nonsense, whether I was madly in love with him or not...he was still just a patient. Just a patient, just a...who was I trying to fool?

"You look like crap."

I opened my eyes to see Cristina standing over me, holding a grape Gatorade.

"You should drink this...it'll help bring your fever down."

"Thanks." I smiled the best I could as I took her offering. She sat down next to me and sighed through the silence, suddenly guilt was all I could think about "I'm sorry for being such an absent friend lately."

She shrugged, "I'm not surprised really." She sighed, "I just wish you would've come and talked about it. Instead, I had to hear about it from the rumor mill."

"You would've just talked me out of it."

"I would have tried." She nodded, "He is a patient, you're a doctor, an intern...you could lose your job and your medical license and..." she bit her tongue and let out another hard sigh "I am your friend, I would support you no matter what. Ultimately, this is your decision."

I closed my eyes and felt a new set of tears warm my eyelids.

"What happened to just being hardcore surgeons this year with no distractions and nothing to get in our way?"

She shook her head, "We didn't plan on falling in love."

"Yuck." I curled my lip

"You need to get some rest; you look like death warmed over."

I giggled to keep from crying at the poor choice of sarcasm, "Thanks."

She got up and left the basement, I opened the Gatorade and gulped it down before laying down on the gurney, closed my eyes, and thought of 98.6 degree body temperatures, hoping that positive thoughts would be enough...