Fate In The Sky

Chapter 40

Kyjie

"...the flight to New York has already been took off"

Tuluyan nang gumuho ang mundo ko dahil sa narinig. Hindi ko siya naabutan, ni'hindi ko man lang  siya nasilayan kahit sa huling pagkakataon man lang.

I've made my way here in airport to follow her after I heard about her decision to move away and start a new life in New York. It pained me a lot especially when she's carrying our baby inside her womb. Gusto ko lang gampanan ang pagiging ama ko sa batang dinadala niya, and to be the best partner for her.

Malabo na ang lahat. Sobra siyang nasaktan sa pangyayari and I can't balme her for that. I made an unforgivable mistake and left a deep wound inside her delicate heart. Gustong gusto kong ibalik ang lahat para itama ang maling nagawa ko.

If I stay and wait for her that night maybe she's in my arms right now, witnessing how her tummy build up with her small bump. But I became an opposite man far from she expected me to become. All I can do now is keep asking to all the saints and heaven-sent to cross our paths again underneath this blue wide skies.

Napatingin ako sa eroplanong dahan dahang nililisan sa himpapawid at parang sinaksak ng paulit ulit ang puso ko. Hanggang dito nalang ba talaga kami? May pag asa pa bang maitama ko lahat?

As the plane slowly fade, the skies finally parted our ways.

Days turns into weeks and weeks turns into months. I barely help myself to get up and face the rising sun that reminds me for another day of painful day. I losses interest in my life. I slowly killing myself, drunk every night to sleep and to forget all the pain I've been carrying for a long time but at the end of the day when I sober up and remember everything I had done and realized I was a big jerk.

Simula sa araw na iniwan na ako ni Hera, nawala na din sa'akin ang lahat. Hindi na ako pumasok sa trabaho at halos hindi na ako bumabangon sa hinihigaan ko. Naka ilang tanggap na ako ng tawag galing sa pamilya, kaibigan at lalo na sa kompanyang trinabahuan ko. Nag padala na rin ng warning letter ang kompanya dahil sa hindi pag pasok ko pero hindi na ako natakot at hinayaan ng matangal ako sa trabaho, wala namang saysay ang buhay ko ngayon kung wala si Hera.

Once again, I'm all alone in this huge empty kitchen with glass of liquor in my hand sitting in this high chair, leaning my elbow in the dining table. Realizing the thought that I will never be in her arms again, just like my home shattered.

She's my home and how could I ever live without a person who feels like home.

Nabasag ang katahimikan sa aking paligid at biglang may nag martsa papasok sa kitchen room. I wasn't even shock anymore. If a bad guy just entered my unit then he should kill me right away, my life is useless now.

"Kuya!" But it was my sister. She's been visiting me since then I broke down. "What's on earth are you doing! Ayan ka na naman e! Tama na nga yan kuya unti unti mo nang pinapatay ang sarili mo, pwede ba!" She always do that but I never learn. How could I? "Tignan mo naman yang' sarili mo, hindi na kita kilala!" I finally looked at her when I heard her sobs and just realized she was crying already.

A moment of silence between the two of us. Her sobs just hurt me now. How could I hurt my sister when she's not responsible of all the pain I have right now.

"There's nothing you can do if you continue being like that! If you want ate Hera again then be a better man for yourself and be better for her!" Her words pained me and tear me up. "Hindi yung unti unti mong papatayin yang' sarili mo! How can you face her again when time comes kung hindi mo tutulongan ang sarili mo! You'll just make the situations even worse!" Bigla siyang tumalikod at aakmang aalis but she paused. "Kuya, you still have us..." Her words stabbed my heart like a knife and once again, I bleed.