Muffled words

22

REUPLOAD, NOT NEW CHAPTER

TW: inc0nsensual kissing, shouting, swearing

George's POV

"Hey."
I obviously didn't reply. We were still stood pretty awkwardly at the top of the stairs- and I was pretty sure the other two were listening in, so without a gesture of it I turned and walked into Clay's room. And as expected he followed me.
There was an all too long silence as he hesitated over what he was saying, making me cringe and start moving my arms to hear the ruffling material.
Literally what does he want.

"Um.. I- so basically, you're..I'm— really bad at this, hang on.." He was rambling. it genuinely seemed like he was worried so I changed my demeanour, taking his arm and gently pulling him to sit on the bed. I did the same beside him, trying to show that I was gonna listen.

He had straightened slightly, looking down at me. Once realising his hands were shaking I started to worry, raising one of my own to stroke his shoulder and tilting my head slightly. He was still staring right at me, and I decided the best thing to do would be doing the same back. We sat, my arm on his back and our eyes looking directly into one anothers. Neither of us budged. The movement of his breathing was noticeable from where I was, and the realisation of how close together we were quickly rushed over me. I started to feel uncomfortable, wanting to slide along to the other end of the bed but feeling that it would be rude. Chill out. You're overreacting.

I mean, in all frankness I wanted to get up and run back into my (and for now Karl's) room, but Sapnap seemed upset and I couldn't just abandon him because I 'felt a bit weird'. Still, my chest had started tightening as he didn't move or say anything, his hand lifting to rest on the one I wasn't using. What? I glanced down quickly, seeing the way he had wrapped his fingers around mine as if they were his. They weren't. Shit. When I moved my eyes back up to meet his my stomach practically dropped at the way he was looking at me, fondness coating his expression.

This was wrong.
This was so wrong.

I forced myself to breath ordinarily as I sat stiller than ever, staying completely calm from anyone else's point of view even though I was completely panicking internally. He definitely wasn't looking for comfort anymore- even the way he was smiling could show me that. Everything he was doing had changed from worried to...something else. Something similar to what there was when he grabbed my waist on the stairs. Similar to when he cornered me in the kitchen.

He's one of my best friends. He won't do anything stupid.
Right?

I was too busy trying to convince myself everything was okay to notice that in the past few seconds it had become very, very much NOT. The moment I zoned back into reality I felt the hand on my cheek, slightly stroking my jawline. It literally felt disgusting, and once I processed it a panicked noise escaped my throat, making me cringe at it and Sapnap smirk. Oh no. Oh FUCK no.

But it was way too late. He was COMPLETELY misreading the room, leaning forward and pulling me aswell. I shook my head desperately, seeing him acknowledge it and continue what he was doing. His face was all too close to mine, the hands pushing against his chest way too weak to have any kind of affect. And before I could do anything his lips were on mine, his hands still touching my face and my hair. He was in too many places at once, panic completely taking over my frozen body as I finally began to move properly. I was pushing against him, pulling my face away, but he kept grabbing me and dragging me back.

Even speaking wouldn't be able to fix this, be able to stop his lips from touching me. Why hasn't he stopped?? I'm literally PUSHING HIM AWAY. Get off. PLEASE. Stop, stop, STOP-

"What the fuck are you doing??" As soon as I heard the voice Sapnap pulled away, looking slightly shocked. I pushed myself as far away as I could, feeling almost sick. Everything was so wrong. My entire body felt disgusting, shaking hands rubbing the taste off my mouth.

No, no, nonono-

"Why the FUCK didn't you let go of him?"
"What? What do you MEAN we were kissing!!"
"NO, YOU were kissing HIM, he was putting his energy in trying to fucking ESCAPE!!"
"WHAT? GEORGE?"
Sapnap swung round, staring right at me for my confirmation. And it was almost upsetting, the worry in his face. But I couldn't get the thought of him kissing me out of my mind, and just shrugged with a shake of my head. I couldn't lie about this.

And his face completely fell, looking at me deadpan with a terrified expression.
"Wait— really?"
"YEAH, you dickhead!! What the fuck were you doing then, huh? HE'S NOT GONNA HELP YOU IS HE?" Clay shoved at Sapnap's chest, but he didn't move. His dark eyes were still staring worriedly into my face, his body apparently petrified. All the blood had rushed out of his face but Clay didn't let up, pushing Nick's shoulders and shouting for him to give an answer.
He did nothing other than take it, going completely still and letting his body be pushed harshly backwards. The shoving didn't stop. The shouting didn't stop. Tears had filled Sapnap's eyes as he kept staring between me and Clay, frantic even though he wasn't properly moving.

I don't think he knew what he did.

Surely he didn't mean it. His reaction now was too genuine for him to have kissed me knowing fully what that meant, and now he was being punished for something he may have not even meant to do.
Look, I know I sound like an idiot. I know I'm sticking up for someone who just completely broke pretty much all of my physical boundaries. But all I knew in the moment was that Nick looked upset, and it was too loud. Way too loud.

Shouting, Sapnap's harsh breathing and mine. Not to mention that the person angry was Clay, aka one of my favourite people but also a very threatening individual when he wants to be. So to put it short I couldn't deal with it, with the noise and the thoughts and everything being way too out of my control. There was nothing I could do.

Sat on the bed while one of my best friends was crying and staying completely limp, and the other was screaming at him with all his energy. Gradually the words grew louder in my head, circulating and multiplying, completely filling the entire room in untranslatable shouts. They rang in my ears, bounced against the walls of my brain, completely possessing my body just as they escaped Clays. Please stop, PLEASE stop, PLEASE STOP-

"George?" Karl was stood at the door, Clay still arguing with Nick, and he held his hand out to me slowly. Neither of the others noticed, and the brunette just looked like he wanted to
help me get out of there. We didn't feel safe.

I stood on shaking legs and rushed to Karl, grabbing his hand and letting him pull me down the stairs. Both of us were quiet but knew what we were doing. Getting out.
As we tugged trainers on he looked up at me, concern on his rushed face. "He kissed you?" He whisper-yelled even though there's no way either of the other could hear us. I nodded slightly, watching the way his face fell slightly. "And you didn't want him to?" I shook my head.

"Oh god- oh my f*cking god dude what-" I stopped him before he could ramble, taking his palm back in mine. He just looked at me, and I did the same. But I held up my left hand, stretching the fingers out to look slightly like a starfish. I put it out in front of me, level with both of our chests and not reaching for anything. And without hesitance Karl lifted his arm, pushing his fingers out and placing the tips of them against mine. We both let out a breath. It's okay.

And when we held out hands together, we knew that we were right.

(1421 words)

Dude this chapter is shit I'm so sorry.

Thoughts?

Love u lots, I'm trying my best to do more writing at the moment I promise<3