NOT MY FANART
George doesn't speak. It started with him getting quieter, then saying less, then only speaking when asked a question. But now? Not at all.
All of his life people have just taken another part of him away, and eventually he was too alon...
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i dont think u guys know how much stuff like that means to me <3
Karl's POV
My touch lay on the door's handle as it had for the past few minutes, unmoving. I glared at the white wood looking back at me, thoughts racing despite the fact that my body was completely still. I knew that I needed to talk to Nick. And I knew that it would be easy, considering the fact that he was sat mere metres away from me, alone in his bedroom. But despite that I stood just outside, hand faltering slightly as my arm started to get tired.
I lowered it back to my side.
This was an annoyingly difficult situation. Because I really did want to go in there and sort things out, but the moment I got too close to it I was overthrown with guilt and couldn't do it. For God's sake, I had been here for over 10 minutes. If I wasn't careful I'd end up driving myself insane.
I just felt wrong talking to Sapnap without Alex knowing. Like I was doing something I shouldn't, when really all it was meant to be was sorting stuff out with a friend. Platonically. Without complication— frankly, something I'd done many times previously with not nearly this much of a problem.
Though that's not really what it was about. I knew that. So I sighed, turned around and walked through the back door into the garden, pulling out my phone. And, taking a deep breath, I called Q. He picked up after 2 rings.
"Karlosss! How ya doing??" The voice came clearly into my ear and I felt myself grin, heart warming at his immediate chirpiness.
"I'm okay!! I just um..I need to talk to you about something, is all." My voice shook and I lowered myself to sit on a wall, keeping myself steady. I was terrified.
"Sure, what's up?"
There was a pause as I tried desperately to collect my thoughts, forming them into any kind of sensical order. "Karl?"
"Um, yeah, um.. I just-- well, it's- um..i-"
"Hey, hey, take a deep breath, alright? Is everything okay??" Despite my nervousness I smiled, comforted by the concern in his voice.
"Yes...I think...um- yeah, yeah, it is." I sighed, shaking my wrist out slightly. "I just..need to tell you. I've needed to tell you for ages." There was no response. He was waiting for me to continue. I bit my lip.
"I...I think I might be polyamorous." My voice stumbled, my heart racing, "And...and I think that, as well as you because I love you, so much, I...I think that maybe I like Nick."
There. I said it. I got the words out. It was up to him now.
Alex said nothing, the only sound from my phone being the quiet hum of his fan. I waited, and I waited, but time just..went on. My phone was cold against my cheek. The suspense built up surprisingly quickly, my leg starting to bounce up and down as I picked at my nail.
"Alex..?"
There was a hum and then nothing, white noise slowly spreading through my ears and mind. Tears filled my eyes as I grew more and more stressed, terrified that something was wrong. A lump grew quickly in my throat as half a minute passed and I still had no response. A short gasp for air escaped my lips before I could stop it and I whimpered slightly, desperate for any kind of response from Alex.
"Oh, no, Karl, don't-- it's okay, c'mon, calm down. Take a deep breath now, it's alright. I'm sorry, I was just thinking, yeah? I promise I'm not angry."
Relief flooded my body and I clutched my phone harder, wiping my nose and focusing more on what he was saying. "I'm sorry, Alex, I didn't-- I shouldn't have thought it, it's not fair, that's too much pressure on you, I'm so sorry, I-"
"No, Karl, really it's okay. You don't need to apologize. You haven't done anything wrong. I was just thinking. Are you alright? Can I ask questions?"
"Yeah, um-" I sniffled, wiping my nose and readjusting how I sat, "I'm okay. Of course you can."
"Okay. Does Nick know?"
I thought for a second, responding, "I'm pretty sure he knows I'm dating you, but as far as I know he has no idea about the other bit. I was gonna tell him, but it-- it would just feel wrong without telling you. And, of course, without making sure you're like..okay with it. And, really, it's fine if you're not, I don't-"
"KARL, it's fine. I'm okay with it. Thank you for telling me. Honestly, I've always thought I might be poly too. You don't need to worry. Are you gonna be okay?" Warmth flooded my heart the more he spoke, face flushing and mouth curling upwards.
"I love you so much," I mumbled easily, "you're so amazing."
"I love you too, Karl. I'll talk to you later, 'kay?" His voice was calm. He didn't mind.
"Okay."
____
"Hey!" The ravenette stood before me, smiling slightly and opening his bedroom door wider. "You good?"
I hesitated in the safety of remaining in the hall, pressing my lips together and frowning. But he turned and raised an eyebrow expectantly, opening out one of his arms as if to welcome me. An offer I could scarcely refuse.
Before I could think I was stood in the middle of the room, looking down at Nick sitting on his bed. My nails picked nervously at a free thread on my sleeve, lip caught between my teeth. Just like when over the phone with Q, I took a deep breath.
"Hi." I said, my voice firm. It was the first word I had said directly to him since I arrived, and the wave of relief that washed over me came with the realisation of how distant he'd been. It made a sudden anger fill my head. "You o-"
"You've been really mean," I interrupted him, clenching my fists at my side. "I know I should have given you a real reply. But I was terrified. And you should've at least considered that. And- you haven't even SPOKEN to me since i GOT here— were you planning on it? Were you just gonna treat me like shit until I left?? I mean..what was your system, Nick??" My voice got louder as I spoke, my arms opening as I got to a point where I was just yelling at him. His eyes were fixed to my face, expression unreadable. "THIS WAS THE first time you'd EVER seen me in person and you haven't spoken ONE WORD TO me! Do you know how hard that was?? How fucking painful? Nick, just IMAGINE if- if George had shown up and not bothered with even LOOKING at you when it was one of the first EVER TIMES you had interacted?? IT WAS AWFUL!! Especially considering how I've been fucking in LOVE with you for.. for.." Tears filled both of our eyes as I trailed off, realising that I had just confessed everything to him in a matter of seconds. We watched each other from across the room for a moment, a sniffle escaping me as I wiped a tear off my cheek. "Forever." I whispered the word, stood in the gloom of Sapnap's bedroom. A heavy quiet covered the room and I felt my body shake, my legs feeling weak. Nick watched me with teary eyes, frowning. And none of us moved until I sobbed slightly, seeing him run forward just as my legs gave way and I collapsed on the floor.
(1273 words)
yk i'm so scared that y'all r just gonna disappear cuz of how rarely i post
