Forged and Forsaken [Nikolai Lantsov II]

~ Chapter Twelve ~

Happy New Year! Here's a new chapter for y'all. 

The sun breaks against my eyelids, forcing a groan from my lungs. I roll over, pressing my face into my bedroll. As my head throbs, I despise myself for taking that first sip of Kvaz, but I despise the sun even more.

"Have fun last night Rin?" Mikhail's voice pierces my brain like a hot poker.

With a groan, I wave my hand, trying to ward him away. "Go away before I shove a sock in your mouth."

He grabs my wrist, pulling me to a seated position. I try to shove him away as he presses a finger to my temple. Instantly cool relief flows through my mind, the ache pressing against my head gone in an instant.

"Better?" He asks, dropping his hand with a smirk.

"Yeah." I blink in surprise, looking out into the sunlight that's no longer blinding.

"Don't make it a habit, I won't do it again." He leans against the side of the cart, "You don't know how many hangovers I cured in the Dregs."

"The what?" I push myself up from the ground, worried that the world will start spinning again at any moment.

"The gang," He tilts his left arm toward me, the one with the cup and crow tattoo, "Had to do it practically every morning for Jesper at one point."

I stare at him in shock. He's never talked about his time in the barrel before and it's unnerving to hear him mention it now. My eyes flick from one tattoo to the other, skittering over the bird of prey on his other forearm.

A memory from last night bubbles in my mind, Nessa's intense gaze as she looked at that same mark. As he sees my eyes shift, Mikhail jerks his arms up, crossing them over his chest.

"We need to get going. When I dropped off our merch, I heard some rumors. There are some Fjerdans up in the Wandering Isle. I say we go up there, smuggle out whatever Grisha they're trying to find, and come back. It'll take a day or two tops."

"Alright," I swipe at my eyes, glancing around at the others who are all beginning to roll out of their sleeping rolls as well.

The rest of the memories from the night before are starting to resurface. Nikolai's eyes flashing with regret, the memory we shared, his words.

If I can not have you always, then I will not have you at all. 

The ache in my head is back, and this time no amount of Heartrender power is going to be able to fix it.

"I should go find Sturmhond," I mutter, stringing a hand through my hair.

"He didn't talk to you?" Mikhail rocks back on his heels, his eyebrows shooting up, "He left a few hours ago, took the rest of his crew with him."

No, he couldn't have. Nikolai wouldn't just leave me like that, not after everything.

But in some dark corner of my mind I know that's not true. He has left me before, in just this way. Without even a word.

Perhaps, in his own way, last night had been a warning. A reminder of who he is.

"He left this," Mikhail flips it toward me, a golden spark in the morning light. I snatch it from midair, staring down at the ring. The falcon glares back at me, ruby eyes mocking.

I asked if he would leave, I guess now I have my answer.

~~~

I stare down at the map, tracing a finger along the river that draws inland from the coast of the Wandering Isle.