Maybe I just wanna be yours

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Jisung woke up to an empty bed, the spot beside him cold with the lack of Minho's body warmth.
He had gotten up and left for school without a word.

Jisung felt so exhausted from the night before, it being 7am and gotten barely any sleep, plus Minho's abbrupt exit was messing with his head.

He got up and lazily put on his clothes from the day before, wiping his sleep deprived eyes and sloping down the stairs out the front door that was unlocked, not having any time to properly get ready.

On his way out he picked up his bag, holding it so it almost dragged on the floor because he couldn't be bothered to put it over his shoulder.

He managed to find the way to school, it being not that far from Minho's place.

"You look like ass" Jisung bumped into Hyunjin in the corridor when he arrived, barely taking any notice of his existence.

"nice." he said simply before walking to his first lesson of the day, Hyunjin staring at his retreating figure and feeling a pang in his chest, worried he'd upset him with his dumb comment.

———

After his first class he had a free period, strolling through the school taking as much time as he could to walk his way back to the dorm.

Once he got there he finally broke down, not even fully sure why he was crying. Maybe it was just the lack of sleep, or maybe he was overthinking again.

He felt overwhelmed, and didn't even notice Jeongin sit next to him by the door, putting an arm around his shoulders.

"You don't have to say anything, just know I'm here" Jeongin was such a good person to Jisung, the younger boy being so mature and patient it made him want to cry harder feeling like he didn't deserve that kind of treatment.

"I'm just over-reacting" Jisung choked, wiping his eyes with his sleeves and trying to laugh it off.

"I don't even know why I'm crying, I got 3 hours worth of sleep last night and woke up to nothing" he felt his eyes starting to well up again.

"what do you mean by 'nothing'?" Jeongin asked softly, clearly not worried if Jisung didn't feel like telling him.

"No Minho, he let me sleep in his bed and held me as I cried because I couldn't sleep, and he couldn't even be bothered to wake me up this morning and just left. Maybe I'm overthinking a minor problem, he probably just had something to do" he felt stupid for crying, but blamed it on his lack of clear thinking due to not getting enough sleep.

"even if it is nothing, I understand why you're upset by that. Don't feel like you're over-reacting, different people respond differently in certain situations." Jeongin spoke wisely, making Jisung that bit more greatful to have him to talk to right now.

"thank you" Jisung sniffled. He meant this in every way possible, thank you for talking to me, thank you for being my friend, thank you for being nice to me when I'm nothing special, thank you.

It was as if Jeongin knew the deeper meaning behind it, pulling Jisung closer to him and whispering a 'you're welcome'.

———

Jisung managed to calm down thanks to Jeongin, the younger having made them both a hot chocolate and sitting them in front of some stupid sappy movie that they could laugh at, and he'd be forever greatful for that.

He went to his final class in a better mood, but that quickly fell away as he was sat in the dance studio alone, watching a couple other pairs practice for at least fifteen minutes before he got concerned that Minho hadn't even shown up yet.

In that time he noticed that Ryujin and Hyunjin had switched roles or so it seemed, Ryujin lifting Hyunjin and dancing more 'masculine' which Jisung found really cool.

After 20 minutes of waiting, he finally decided to get up and take a walk around the building to see if he would come across Minho.

He found him sat in the courtyard that people don't tend to use anymore, his headphones in and he appeared to be writing in a journal of some description.

"Minho?" Jisung called out, the older turning to see him with an unreasonable expression on his face, quickly turning into a slight scowl as he closed his notebook and got up.

"what? I'm busy." He walked over, annoyed and frightening Jisung a bit.

"we have dance, did you forget?" He asked timidly, feeling small under Minho's glare.

"no, darling, do you think I'm fucking stupid?" he feigned a sweet voice before walking right past Jisung.

Jisung stood there for a moment, looking up at the sky and blinking away tears, fists forming at his sides.

"fuck you" he muttered and his voice broke, feeling another wave of fresh tears fall down his face that day.

———

He laid lifelessly on his bed for the next couple of days, not attending any classes and only getting up when he really had to.

When Jeongin was out he would scream to himself in the mirror, hating that he found out he was starting to like Minho despite how he treated him.

It was like his body ignored the bad parts about him and only focused on the positives which was really fucking him over.

Jeongin gave up on trying to help him after Jisung weakly attempted to push him out of the dorm, the younger deciding it'd be best to give him some space and stay over at Hyunjin and Siyeon's (a/n: from dreamcatcher) dorm.

Some nights Jisung would sleep in Jeongin's bed, the sheets smelling like him and comforting his loneliness.

He regretted kicking Jeongin out, but deep down he knew it'd be better for both of them for now.

He had Chan or sometimes Hyunjin come to his dorm occasionally to check up on him and make sure he wasn't dead.

Jisung scrolled through his messages with Minho, nothing much there apart from a couple short messages and the voicemails he accidentally sent when he had another episode a day ago.

'fuck you for making me feel like this, I hate you so much'  the first one said, Jisung not even sounding angry, more just sad.

'please' the second one said, Jisung's voice cracking audibly in the recording and the way he started to cry before it cuts out.

He cried as he replayed the voice messages, and just as he was looking at them it popped up that Minho had seen them.

"shit" he whimpered, knowing he couldn't delete them now as it would be pointless.

Jisung almost jumped out of his skin when it said Minho was calling him, but the call ended in a flash before Jisung could even answer.

Then the message 'stop' came and Jisung threw his phone at the wall, hoping to all hell that it smashed along with his heart.

He didn't understand how he could fall so quickly for someone, someone that didn't even treat him right.

———

A/N: boi what the hell boi 😐
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IG: lilsvngiez
~1202 words 🤍

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