Nikki Sixx Imagines

Time is pain (pt. 4)

Nikki's POV

I can't believe it. I just can't believe it. Two years of relationship and I let the boundaries between us ruin everything we had. I knew this is going to happen someday. But I didn't know it would hurt me so much. We argued all the time. And for what? Our past and problems. But I thought that she loved me enough to bear me. Well, to be honest, I was an asshole the night she left. I mean, she was really scared. I can't believe I scared her. I'm a monster. I still remember that night. Damn, I think it's happening again. My previous girlfriend wasn't that scared of me when she left. (Y/N) had proven me she really was strong, but maybe I was that mad I scared her. I need a drink... And maybe a shot of smack...

*flashback*

You and your boyfriend were watching TV at his place. You really loved each other but there were unrevealed things that have risen boundaries you didn't know that have existed. You really wanted to know about his past. There were so many questions. Did he use to be addicted to something? Were his parents good? Did he have a girlfriend before you and if he did, what was she like? You could think of questions for the whole night, but something worse happened instead.

"So, tell me about your parents."
"About my what?"
"Your parents. Are they fine or you haven't seen them lately?"
"I don't want to talk about them."
"Oh, maybe it's hard for you. It's okay. Um, have you ever been depressed?"
"I think we shouldn't start this topic."
"Why though? I think it's important to talk about this kind of stuff."

"You're thinking too much. It's irritating."
"The same could be said for you actually. You're the one who refuses to talk about anything I ask. Why?"
"It's a topic for another time."
"Another time? How long I'm going to wait for you to let me penetrate you?"
"That's why. I don't want anybody to penetrate me."

"Well, I'm sorry that you don't want me to be a part of you."
"I didn't say that."
"But you meant it. Nikki, I just wanted to be sure that I can share with you anything."
"You can tell me anything you want to say."
"It's not the same. You want me to open my heart and mind like a book while you're keeping yours under a lock and key. It hurts me. It's like you don't trust me."
"What?"
"You heard me."
"I'm the one who doesn't trust you? Actually, I think it's the opposite."
"Whaaaat?"
"Oh come on, don't pretend I don't know that you're always talking with your best friend about everything. Why you're not sharing anything with me as well?"
"You should do the same for me. But you're so mysterious and so stubborn, you don't let me talk about anything without eventually getting worried or upset."
"I'm stubborn? Okay, I got it. Go and complain to your friend about that."

"You're such a dick."
"And you're such a bitch."
"Don't call me A BITCH."
"Wow, don't shout at me slut."
"STOP CALLING ME NAMES YOU SON OF A BITCH."
"DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT AGAIN, OTHERWISE YOU'RE DEAD."
"Say what? Son of a bitch? Because that's what I think you are."

You got irritated by his stubborn attitude so you wanted to get him angry as well, but you couldn't have known that he had anger issues. He stood up from his seat and grabbed your hand. He began dragging you around like a garbage. He slammed you against every wall he saw and shouted at you. He was shouting things like:
"WHO THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU ARE?";
"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"
When he finally let his grip from your hand you whispered:
"Okay, I'll leave. You could just have told me that you don't love me in the first place." You ran away to the main door scared. Nikki collapsed on the floor numb.

*end of flashback*

Nikki's POV

What have I done? I shouldn't have done that. I have to make it up to her. I have to do it. She's gonna leave me for real. But first, where's my syringe? I think I'm gonna need some smack so I can calm down. Oh God... I haven't done that in years... it feels so good... now I can go to (Y/N) wow, wait I think I see her.
"(Y/N)? I'm sorry, I-"
"Don't you dare say that name. You're so pathetic. How could you do this to me? I loved you."
"You're not her."
"I'm not your (Y/N), I'm the one you left so long ago. You loved my golden eyes, don't you remember?"