The Fall Of Edith

Chapter 4

The 30st of August is an overcast, grey day, uncharacteristically cold for late summer. There are dark clouds hanging over the city, waiting to break loose. I'm standing in my bathroom, fur slippers with rabbit ears on my feet, brushing my teeth. Short sleeping pants and an old band T-shirt is all I'm wearing. Now I have to get dressed and make myself look presentable, after I spend the better part of last night on my phone. I actually fell asleep at 3am, but then woke up later again because my phone was vibrating right under my cheek. It was a message from Mauricio, telling me "good night". Now, after less than 3hours of sleep I feel like I got pulled from the grave. Bethany is going to come and pick me up at 9am and then we'll go to the airport together, so I have approximately 30 minutes to pack and get ready. Even though I was the one who booked our flights to Italy, I don't remember when we have to board, so I'm glad that Bethany is taking over all the organization. She's the ambitious type, always eager to please. Back in high school she was always sucking up to the teachers, walking around with her nose down one book or the other. She and I get along, simply because we both don't have better options, so I tolerate her endless talk and worrying about her studies and she tolerates me. I wonder why she thought it would be a good idea to ask me to the internship, but I figure I really must be the only "friend" she has left from school other than Moe, considering we all used to be a group.

My mom comes over to say goodbye and bring us some lunch and snacks. She got salted pretzels, juice and fruit bars, which I'm genuinely grateful for, because I haven't eaten since yesterday evening. "I'm so glad you're finally doing something with your real friends again, honey, all that phone stuff is no good" I nod, agreeing, while munching one of the fruit bars and scrolling through Amino.

Bethany arrives at my place right on time, she's wearing jeans that don't fit her well, a harry potter hoodie and her way too big glasses. Her short, brown hair tied to a ponytail.

"hi miss Myers" is the first thing she says, I'm only second: "hey Edith"

After my mom and dad divorced three years ago, she got back her old surname.

They separated when I was almost 15, I haven't seen my dad since. He moved to the US, married again almost immediately. From what I know, his new wife is Scottish-American, whatever that means. Her name is Charlotte McIrwing, and I have never seen her in real life, only on grainy video calls. It was enough anyways to see that she is much younger than my mom and very pretty. Also my dad took her last name, which leaves me to be the only one in the family who's called Baeumler.

"Edith, my child, hurry up, we need to go" I'm already irritated with her, why does she have to be so condescending, talking to me like I'm a retarded child in front of my mother?

My mom has tears in her eyes when she waves goodbye to us on the street and for a split second I want to scream and turn around, run to my mom and tell her to make it all go away, tell her to help me, save me. But I know she won't be able to fix me, so I swallow the monster down, smile at her and follow Bethany to the train heading to the airport. The whole journey Bethany talks like a waterfall, telling me that she wants to study medicine so badly, where she applied, which university is her favourite, how anxious she is about it, how pressured to get into her programme. She's telling me she will attend uni for six years, then go to medical school, then, then, then. I haven't given the whole topic of universities much thought myself, so I can't relate to her worries, on the opposite, she's starting to give me a headache with all her planning. To me it sounds awfully sad to have your life planned ahead like that. She'll be 66 before she can even put down her medicine books. Soon I tune out and only listen with half an ear to her chattering.

Once arrived in Italy, we get picked up from the train station by an elderly man, who barely speaks English. "ciao" is all I know in Italian, so I don't even bother, just pray that he knows where we want to go. Bethany is more eager, trying her best to cook up some sentences, which sounds like a cacophony of at least three different languages mixed together to me. I let her take over the conversation and lean back in my seat. Numb, numb, numb. Whatever I do, There seems to be no feeling, no reaction at all and then it all comes rushing at me, like there's a dam inside me, collecting feelings until at some point, late at night, when I'm alone, it breaks and drowns me.