The Fall Of Edith

Chapter 3

Outside summer is coming to an end and most people are spending as much time outside as they can, to soak up the final rays of sunshine. Parks and lake shores are filled with sun loungers, ice cream eaters and brave swimmers. My mom decides to go on vacation, and she decides it will be with me and her boyfriend. I protest, but my resistance is weak so I eventually give in to my moms' perpetual whining.

My bag is packed and I'm waiting for the others to come downstairs. Already I'm glad for the distraction my phone gives me nowadays, so I don't have to look at all the happy couples passing on the street. Because from where I'm standing it looks like the whole world but me consists of happy couples. I log on to my amino profile and see a bunch of notifications. There are seven comments to a short poem I posted, mostly positive, which gives me a push of confidence.

The poem just consisted of a couple of lines that I had originally scribbled absent mindedly on a bright pink sticky note.

Look into my teared-up eyes

And down, down the rabbit hole we go

Beyond the smile, beneath the lies

It's just a void, not much to show

Weed420 and blaze started a private conversation, very originally saying hey.

Since I didn't bother to ask earlier, I now find out on the way we're going to stay in a five star deluxe hotel in a tiny place somewhere in the north. It's going to be cold and windy mostly, but we will have a spa and indoor swimming pool. Even though this all sounds very exciting, I can't fight the sinking feeling I have in my tummy. It seems to be there constantly, like all my organs are five centimetres lower than other peoples', forming a puddle in the pit of my stomach. I'm not sure what the general rules say about a seventeen year old travelling with her mom and her moms' boyfriend, but it should be forbidden. There's an awkwardness to watching them sit and joke on the train, peck each other on the cheek on the walkway and talk about me in the third person, like I'm not there. For the last one I shouldn't blame them, because I actually am not there. I started fading out the moment I left my room at home and now I am merely a shadow trotting behind them. Have you ever seen someone holding one of those meter-long dog's leashes and the dog tied to the leash is dead, being dragged behind?

That's how I feel.

The hotel is even grander from the inside, they have things like a coffee machine and a rainfall shower in the rooms. The bed looks gigantic and takes up almost half of the whole room, the other half is taken up by an enormous flat screen TV. I drag my ratty old bag into the hallway and collapse on the bed. Thankfully I have my own room, which gives me at least some space to soak in my misery in peace. It doesn't even take five minutes though until I hear a knock on the door. "honey, we will go out to see the coast, will you come with us?" I can't think of anything worse than walking on the beach next to my mom and the other part of her happy couple right now. The mere thought of makes my throat close up. I'm trying to come up with an excuse. "I haven't even unpacked yet, mom, maybe tomorrow"

"fine, but promise me you'll join us at the restaurant at 7"

I groan into my pillow and agree.

The next twenty minutes pass with me laying splayed out on the bed, watching the ceiling. There are four spotlights right above me, after some time they turn into four bright moons staring down on me, they're crying, their tears are rays of light, falling down on my cheeks. I'm bathed in tears of light. They shine so bright, doing their best to illuminate their small world, until at some point they get switched off. Then the world is darkness and there is nothing they can do, they can only hope that someone will switch them on again.