The Fall Of Edith

Chapter 14

June passes by in a blur, I have to work my shift every day of the week, in the afternoon I use up all my energy to maintain the cleanliness of my apartment and body. Those two are actually very similar. Clean hairs from the floor and hairs from my legs. Swipe table tops, windows and again floor and take a shower. Cook and paint my nails. Vacuum and pluck my eyebrows and so on and so forth. Sometimes, on good days when I don't feel too restless to focus, I read a book or go wander around the library. Lately I've tried learning Spanish too, not that it would impress Mauricio, but just for myself. I told him I know some Spanish once, trying to show off my language skills, but he just replied with one of his trademark sentences, saying "good girl". And then there are the nights, those are filled with Mauricio or waiting for him to show up.

One day I text him "hey, do you want to go on a date?"

"sure lol, when?"

"we could watch a movie together tonight? you can come to my place"

"ok, I'll be there at midnight or something" , "love u" Midnight, that's a weird date time, but fine, I never sleep any time before 3am anyways. I browse through the internet, looking for a movie he could like. Later, at twelve, I sit in my bed, waiting for him. He doesn't show up. I do something I've never done before and call him, No answer. I wait till 4:30, then my eyes give out and I fall asleep.

Now he will have to text me. There's no way he cannot text me now. That's all I think the next day during work. I place my phone below the cash register to make sure I'll notice all incoming messages and light up the screen whenever I've got my hands empty. The whole duration of my shift I'm unfocused like I've never been before. I barely talk to the customers, morph into a machine. I even forget to tell the people the amount of money they have to pay. Take money, open cash register, give rest of money back. And repeat. I know there's a pile of thoughts, like bricks, precariously placed on a ledge inside my head. On wrong move and it will all come tumbling down, ripping open my heart, my soul, my insides along the way.

And he does text me eventually, half an hour before my shift ends. I read it immediately, but make myself wait before replying.

"hey girl, I'm sorry about yesterday", "stuff happened", "sorry", "I forgot to tell you" Another cycle of our infinite game. He disappears, he shows up again, acting like nothing happened, like I'm the dentist he forgot an appointment with, not his goddamn girlfriend.

"where have you been???" I can't hold myself back, I'm too agitated, I've been waiting too long.

"we were supposed to watch a movie, remember?"

"I know" No explanations.

The next message he sends me is a youtube link. "here's a song for you", "to make up for it". It's Bloc Party, Hunting for witches A youtube link. After ditching me on what was supposed to be a date or a movie night or whatever. And everything is supposed to be alright now? Forgiven and forgotten? I click on the link and for once I don't even like the song. And what is that title, am I supposed to read something between the lines here? Is he trying to tell me I'm a witch? I am the confusion.

"what about our movie? Are we going to watch it today?" I ask him, "you can't just send me a link" I speak up for once, tell him my opinion.

And then there's silence. He's gone, conversation fading out, like raindrops on a hot street in summer.

It's all too much to deal with, once I arrive home after my work, I run up the stairs, grab my earphones and cigarettes and rush out of the door again. It's slowly getting dark and cold outside, but I wander around in the city, aimlessly, without goal or plan. The street lamps are already on and there are only a few people left on the streets. I wander down a lonely road and find a small park at the end of it. There's a square patch of grass, lined with huge trees. On one side is an abandoned playground, hidden behind a wall of bushes. In the middle there's a big, square fountain with thick walls on all four sides. In the middle on a pedestal there's a female statue. Maybe Juliet, maybe Athena. I climb up on one of the walls of the fountain, pull up the hood of my puffy jacket and lay on my back. After a while, the stars are starting to appear in the sky above me. They look so bright from where I'm laying. Sky, come down and devour me.