The Fall Of Edith

Chapter 9

The day after I went to London, the first Monday of February I'm laying flat on the floor of my room, looking out of the window, into the small patch of sky that I can see from where I am. I'm a starfish, all my limbs far away from me. I've got my earphones in my ears, listening to music. The rhythm of the song is entering my blood, every note travelling through my veins until my body is vibrating. I'm staring at the sky. There's also part of a naked tree and the roof of a building visible to me. I stare at the scene and start crying. The peacefulness of nature, beautiful nature, makes my heart ache. Let my soul ascend and float hand in hand with the clouds.

My head lives in a fantasy world

Far away from reality

Designing impossible lovely scenes

To an invisible beat

My body walks numb

Kicking leaves and punching walls

Disappointed of the sun

Wishing for a soul to stay

Only a few times my head met my body

Flowed golden life into those bones

Bright daylight behind those eyes

And a flickering fire to that heart

Those

Were

The few times

I

Was

With you.

For the first time I manage to attend a full university class. Nobody seems to mind that I've been absent the whole first trimester. Groups and alliances have been built, it's clear as soon as I enter the lecture hall. Most students are clustered together with three or four others, chatting and laughing away, waiting for the professor to start the class. The hall is filled to the rim and despite me sitting sandwiched between two people, the lecture passes without any opportunities of talking to someone. I never imagined university being such a lonely venture. So after just one class I walk back home discouraged. The professor who gave the lecture was boring, speech monotonous and jagged like a 3rd grader doing reading homework. But the topic of the lecture did catch my eye "Literature of ancient greece".  One I arrive in my flat I'm cold and miserable, grabbing a meagre slice of toast as a snack to eat. I stand, watching the world out of my window. There are freezing January storms raging outside, bumping their heads and limbs against my window, trying to open it up and creep inside.  I open up my laptop and do some research on greek mythology. I learnt some basics in high school and always told myself to learn more about it later, but it slipped out of my mind, like a quiet party guest. I spend hours and hours reading through articles online. "suicide in antiquity" gives me thousands of results. there's Thanatos, the personification of death, there's Oizys, goddesses pf pain, tears and misery - "a malevolent spirit, ready to harm human kind". There are three Algea, personifications of grief and boredom. 

If only I wasn't feeling so restless all the time. Like a rabbit on the run from the hunter, I'm hopping in zigzags, never sitting down too long or else I might get trapped. It's been over three days that I  saw Mauricio and I haven't heard from him since, so I decide to text him.

I forgot to show him the "fondue for two" that Bethany gave me as a Christmas present. Now I can finally tell him about it and it's a good reason to start a conversation.

I message: "Look, a friend of mine gave me a present for both of us" I send him a picture of the card she wrote.

"you told people about me?" I'm slightly thrown off by his question.

"yea, of course, didn't you?"

" that's cute" He ignores my question and I let it be, but I really would've liked to know if he did or not.

"how's your day going?" he says. The same questions every time we talk.

"good, now that ur here"

"I'm horny, can u send me some pictures 😉"

"sure, but it will cost u"

"okay, don't worry, I got something for u" Even though I would've rather talked about other things, I'm excited to finally sext with him again, it almost feels like home.

I get a video of him, twenty seconds, laying in bed. His blanket is lifted up and he's moving his right hand up and down his erect dick. It turns me on and I don't give it much thought in that moment, only later when he's gone again I get a notion that it'd be nicer to get a video of his face or anything else instead, but I push the thought away.

"what kind of video should I send you?" I ask him.

"you could stick something inside your pussy" His wish is my command. Searching, I look around the room for suitable objects and find nothing. Then I have an idea.

Five minutes later, he gets a video of my lower body half penetrated by a carrot.