Just Friends?

One sided and style

A/N: So... this is a world without covid btw. 

Friday, July 3, 2020

New York

Y/N POV 

Having him in this position was exhilarating. I feel the control. I can easily take away his pleasure. His breathing is all over the place. The breathless words of him wanting more. I can feel him tighten around me, I can watch his body convulse... losing control from our bodies interacting in what is said to be the most intimate way. 

I keep going, I am close to me being the one to lose control. I can hear his groans and moans... I can see his reaction to feeling so sensitive. Soon enough I'm leaning over his body... thrusting hard one more time, as I give into to a very desirable feeling. His body tenses up a bit more before it completely relaxes. 

"Oh my god, I'm so in love with you." I've heard him say this before. But no matter what, it makes my heart feel something. But not in the way you'd expect. More so, in a heart attack way. 

Dalton said it was okay that I wasn't ready to say the same thing. I know, it is a perfectly normal thing for people say it at different times. Still doesn't help the fact of feeling guilty when I am not returning the feelings. 

Every time it feels awkward. Every time I don't know what to respond with.

I lean over and kiss him passionately, then let him lay on my chest. He looks up at me with those eyes that are feeling so much more than I am feeling. His hand plays with my hair, he likes it being this curly mess on my head. I smile at him so I don't show the truth of my thoughts through my facial expressions. 

Confusion. 

The sex feels great. He's a great person. Ticks off every box that makes an amazing person to be with. Why can't I love him. 

I have to say something. There's that urge to fill the silence, the wait, him wanting to hear what I have to say. So I speak. 

"Wanna do more in the shower?" ________________________________________________________________________________

Maybe I'll feel those feelings soon? It takes time to know if you love someone. April... the month when we first started dating.

Yeah, it's too soon for me to know. 

Maybe August will help me sort things out? 

"You're thinking of bringing him to Italy?" Ellie asked me, as she was processing my plan. She seems quite shocked. 

My family living in Italy invited us to spend some time with them, during the summer. Paco is going with the promise that he gets to bring a friend. Gia is sad to say that she can't. She doesn't want to ruin her work impression with her coworkers. She is fairly new to being an official doctor. 

(A/N: Right now, I am quite confused about everything regarding education and that stuff. So I'm saying that Ellie, 27 years old, is now starting more towards specializing. She is working towards a specialty. Y/N, 22 years old, has completed a bachelor degree. Paco is 12, so going to grade 7.) 

"Yeah, I hear it's good for a relationship. You know, know what the other is like during a vacation. Right?" I told her. I remember someone telling me that but I can't quite figure out who. 

"Well usually people say a road trip specifically. But, sure I guess that works too... But isn't it too early to introduce your new family to him? You barely know them yourself." She was laying out all of the real stuff now. Ellie was right. It is actually quite absurd. But then Paco is bringing someone too. "And no, Paco bringing someone isn't the same as you bringing your boyfriend."