Verosika: Hey Kaney, can I get a sip of your water~?
Kaine: It's not water.
Verosika: Vodka, I like your style!
Kaine: It's vinegar.
Verosika: Wh-Wha-
Kaine: It's vinegar, COWARD.
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Blitz: *standing with their back turned* I've been expecting you, Angel.
Angel: How did you do that without turning around?
Blitz: ... To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.
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Robo Fizz: I turned out perfectly fine!
Katie Killjoy: Fizz, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast
Robo Fizz: I DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN!!!
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Villa: Vortex...
Vortex: Oh no, 'Vortex' in b-flat. You're disappointed.
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Cletus: If Collin and I were drowning, who would you save?
Keenie: You two can't swim?
Collin: It's a hypothetical question, Keenie! Who would you save?
Keenie: My time and effort.
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Charlie: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste
Vaggie: We got spring water
Charlie: NO.
Bendy: with EXTRA minerals
Vaggie: it's like licking a stalagmite
Charlie: DON'T COME HOME.
Bendy: Mmmmm, cave water
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Arackniss: Fuck.
Estelle: We've got to work on your cursing, dear.
Arackniss: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.
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Matilda: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment!
Husk: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!
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Molly: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.
Velvet: Killed without hesitation?
Molly: .............I need an adult.
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Cherri: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-
Crymini: Twelve, actually.
Cherri: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?
Crymini: Yours!
Cherri: That's right: no one's.
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Baxter: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming?
Ren: Does anyone in this fucking Hotel ever think before they speak?!
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Octavia: Do you take constructive criticism?
Barbie: I only take cash or credit.
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Chuck: *Screams*
Charlie: *Screams louder to assert sibling dominance*
Seviathan: Should we do something?
Bendy, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.
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Sallie May: I'm gonna need a human skull and I can't have you ask any questions why.
Striker: Only if you also don't ask why. *pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* Take your pick.
Sallie May: ...............
Striker: ..................
Sallie May: This one is fine.
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Vivian, pointing: May I sit there?
Sydney: That's my lap.
Vivian: That doesn't answer my question, Sydney.
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Jersey, in a beach shirt: So sue me, it's October and I'd like to be on Island Time for a day!
Helsa: I have Spotify open right now on my computer, do you want me to blast you? Do you want me to put you on blast? Cuz I've got your history right here on the sidebar: Take it Back by Jimmy Buffet, Nautical Wheelers by Jimmy Buffet, Jolly Mon Sing by Jimmy Buffet, Steamer by Jimmy Buffet, trEAT HER LIKE A LADY BY JIMMY BUFFET, MAÑANA BY JIMMY BUFFET, WHEN SALOME PLAYS THE DRUMS BY JAMES BUFFET, HAVANA DAYDREAMIN BY JIMMY BUFFET- What the FUCK happened to you?!
Jersey: *laughs* I HAD A CASE OF THE MONDAYS
Helsa: ARE YOU HAUNTED?! ARE YOU FUCKING POSSESSED?! YOU USED TO BE MY FRIEND
Jersey: *cry-laughing* ᴵ ᴴᴬᴰ ᴬ ᶜᴬˢᴱ ᴼᶠ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴹᴼᴺᴰᴬʸˢ.
YOU ARE READING
Hazbin/Helluva Ink Edition: Book of Amore
RomanceJust a collection of one shots featuring the stories created couples. Requests are insisted upon and appreciated. Will update as more couples are made.
