Shooting Star and Swallow's Song

Alex looked out the window of the bus, hoping Haven Springs wasn't as close as she feared. They weren't far. She knew that much. The views of tree covered hills were beautiful and serene, but she wasn't thinking about the scenery anymore. Her thoughts went past it, fueled by excitement and tempered by her nerves. She was going to finally see her brother again after nearly eight years.

Her leg bounced up and down, only stopping briefly as she picked at her nails. Alex's thumb systematically slid across each finger, until she once again felt the scrape of a nail that was not quite smooth enough.

No, stop that. Leave it alone before it stings any worse. Gabe will notice and then he'll know you're not okay.

She bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut tight while her leg resumed its movement.

No. I AM okay...they wouldn't let me go if they didn't think I was ready. Right? Or maybe it's because I'm a fucking 21 years old adult. No, it doesn't matter. It's about time and I have control now. I've turned my...whatever it is, off and it has STAYED off since I made that promise to myself. I really haven't even felt anyone else's emotions at all. Not in forever. Okay, maybe sometimes it's hard to keep some intense feelings out, but I always do. Definitely not reading any thoughts anymore. I'm practically normal.

Alex opened her eyes and looked around the bus, wondering for a moment if she was fooling herself, that maybe it was extremely obvious something was wrong with her. But no, everyone had their attention elsewhere. She easily fought the temptation to use her powers to check if anyone was thinking about her, the idea leaving as quickly as it came. It had been so long, she had doubts that she could even still do it at all. Some days she questioned if it was ever even real, or just some delusional coping mechanism for being in foster care over a third of her existence.

That part of Alex's life was done now though. She was about to arrive in Haven Springs and make a fresh start with her long lost big brother. They were both lost, from each other really. Then, out of no where, he found her.

This should be a good thing, and it was, she thought, but, at this moment, Alex wasn't sure that she was ready to see Gabe. What if her resolve slipped and she ended up using her powers because she had to know his thoughts and then messed up everything like before so many times in foster care? What if she gets too clingy and he regrets finding her? What if he's only doing this out of guilt or duty? Does he really want her to live with him? It's not like she gave him any choice. She had no money, no way to support herself.

No, stop that. You can't predict the future and even if I'm right, I can't control how others feel.

Alex tried to follow her therapists' advice on how to approach her worries, but it took constant self reminders. The current moment was no different, but the urge to predict and plan, to protect herself from what may happen was almost too much. After never having been chosen in foster care, at least not picked and kept, she had gotten used to preparing for the worst, but she was trying to stop expecting it. Being sent back all those times though had its effect.

Before she could give herself the usual positive self-talk, Alex noticed that the bus was slowing down. Looking back out the window, she suddenly found herself at Haven Springs. Alex couldn't believe she was so lost in her thoughts that they were already parking. Even more shocking was the sight of Gabe, scanning the bus for her. He was holding his hand over his eyes to block the sun and for a second her anxiety was gone. She smirked, finding comfort in how he could still look like a doofus, even after all these years.

She then noticed that Gabe had stopped searching and was staring straight at her. His other hand came up hesitantly at first, but then shot up boldly to make a small wave, accompanied by a reassuring grin. Alex thought she would have a few more moments to compose herself. She felt a little panicked. Frozen for a moment with wide eyes, she pushed herself to do something. Alex waved back in a tight motion with an equally tight lipped smile, immediately followed by turning herself away from the window.