Shooting Star and Swallow's Song

It's Not What You Think

When Alex woke, she saw an empty chair next to her. It took her a moment to process why it was there. When it hit her, she lifted herself on her elbows and looked around the room.

No Steph.

She felt instant disappointment, but then also remembered what was happening today: The wake.

Alex let herself fall back in bed.

Images of Gabe flashed in her mind, all from that day. She fought to not think of them, but scenes kept coming to her until those last moments began replaying. Alex rolled out of bed before they got too far.

She tried to focus on anything else and so made herself wander around the apartment, seeking distraction. As Alex walked past the door to downstairs, she heard quiet voices conversing.

In order to better hear, she stayed motionless, but still could not make out any words. Too curious, Alex crept over to the door and put her ear carefully to the surface. The words became clearer. It took a couple seconds, but she recognized it was Ryan and Steph. They were talking with harsh voices a little above a whisper, becoming more heated as they spoke. Ryan sounded a little farther away than the other.

She could hear Steph say with quiet frustration, "...I know, okay!? I know. But it's not like that. She just needs someone to be there for her."

Ryan spoke more calmly, commenting, "Gabe said he thought he saw something going on between you two, at the bar."

Surprised, Steph asked, "What? What are you talking about?"

"Just when you left and said goodbye to her. Maybe a look," Ryan clarified.

Steph gave a low grumble and said, "That's all you have? A look ? I love... loved that guy, but Gabe said a lot of things. Just trust me. Nothing's going on."

Ryan continued. "I do trust you, but I'm just-"

"If you trusted me then we wouldn't be talking right now," Steph hissed quietly, still voicing her aggravation.

"I just asked if you're being careful..."

"I told you I am."

"Okay, but-" Ryan began.

"What else can I do? She has no one. No one, Ryan," Steph said with building anger.

"Okay, okay. Sorry, I get it."

Steph wasn't done though. "Do you? She pretty much lost the only family she had. If I wasn't there every night, I don't know what would happen."

"Yeah..." Ryan said, trailing off with unspoken meaning.

A couple seconds passed and then Steph said with sudden indignation, "Really ? You know how offensive you're being? Fuck you Ryan."

"I didn't say anything," he said defensively.

"You didn't have to say it. I know exactly what you're thinking."

Ryan instantly changed his tone and became apologetic. "No...I...I'm sorry. I'm just trying to look out for her, for Gabe..."

"So...am... I ..." Steph said, emphasizing each word with venomous undertones.

Ryan continued to try and turn things around. "Okay okay. I won't bring it up anymore. I'm sorry , I really am. I know we all just want her to be okay. I'm sorry for being an idiot. I admit it. I'm just...being stupid."

There was a pause.

"Very stupid," Steph said, calming down.

"Okay, very stupid."