Shooting Star and Swallow's Song

How Sorry is Enough?

Her brother was far too quiet, even when they entered the apartment and went through to the outside roof area. Alex couldn't appreciate the view while her mind raced to fix this situation.

When they both stood quietly, looking out over the town, Alex finally broke the silence and said, "Gabe, I'm so sorry. I really wish I could take it back."

No comment came from him, but he gestured for them to sit, and then plopped himself down in one of the lawn chairs. Alex followed suit, but then asked, "Does it still hurt?"

Gabe sighed and reached down, pulling out a couple beers from a hidden stash, and handed one to Alex.

After she took it, he opened his, took a sip and said, "It feels okay. I'm thinking more about you."

"Me? I'm fine, I-"

"Alex," he interrupted, stopping her mid sentence and said, "I could tell you've done that before. It wasn't the first time." This wasn't a question.

She felt a little alarm at how easily he saw through her, right to the ugly parts of her past she had tried to forget. It was like being on the other end of her mind reading powers.

Gabe continued, staring downward as he spoke. "I guess I never really thought how tough it might have been for you. What you might have had to do...to get by. I know you said you don't hate me, but..."

He turned and looked right at her with tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you." He got up and knelt by her chair, then wrapped his arms around her.

Alex teared up too, pools instantly forming and one spilling down across her cheek as she hugged him back. She was too overwhelmed to respond. The emotions coming from Gabe also were fairly strong and she struggled to keep them out. They fit too well with her own, so she could sense how easy it would be to let the feelings flow straight into herself, but she managed to hold out.

"I'm still working on forgiving myself, but I'll get there," Gabe said as he ended the embrace.

Alex could only nod and held her lips tightly together.

Gabe stayed kneeling next to her for a moment, then stood. He looked back to the door with a slight smile and said, "You ready to head back in?"

"Yeah, sure," she softly replied.

Alex followed him in and halfway through the room, Gabe stopped and looked at the guitar case she left in the corner.

He looked back to her and said, "I see you found the guitar."

Alex's eyes grew big at the sudden reminder that she never thanked him. "Oh my gosh, yeah. Thanks so much, Gabe. I still remember a little bit. I played some at Helping Hands when they had one. I think I told you on the phone."

"Yeah...you did," Gabe said, wiping his tears as he got up.

Alex nodded.

He hesitantly asked, "You think you could...play something for me?"

"Umm..."

"No pressure," he quickly added.

"Yeah, no pressure..." she repeated, smirking a little and wiping away her own tears.

"Okay, sure," she said and rose out of her chair. As she walked over to the bed, Gabe rearranged his chair to face her and sat down.

"Wow me."

"Hush you," she said smiling, as she double checked it was still tuned. Once that was done, she paced around by the bed, trying to decide what to play.

I sort of know a few covers, but most of my own music is just going to make us cry more. Not that I remember how to play a lot of what I wrote. I'll just play the first one that comes to me.