I Am Me

Happy Birthday

May 5th is my birthday and it's also Jamal's. A day Mama says she'll never forget.

My birth sign is a Taurus but I don't really act that much like one. Today I'm turning 17 right along with Jamal.

I'm wondering what over-the-top gift Bri will get me this year. She usually goes all out even though I tell her it's not big deal she doesn't believe that.

I do got to admit that I am a little stubborn but isn't everybody. It's amazing how everyone in this family is born in May . Such a coincidence.

"Happy Birthday girl!! I got you the best gift." Brianna squeals in my ear as she walks over to add it to my side of the gifts.

"Okay I think that's everyone. Let's go ahead and get this party started."

I look around and there is a lot of people. Too many. I don't really do that good with crowds of people but I put on my best smile and make it work. I really hope that no-one knocks on that door.

Speak of the devil. Yeah, it's a happy birthday alright. Why can't I just enjoy my birthday without anyone showing up unannounced and unknown.

"I got it." I walk to the door because I know if I run in heels I'll have another knot on head like before with the football.

I open the door and to my surprise it's not any more teenagers. Woo! Instead it's a tall man with a small afro puff at the top with the sides shaven off, black Jordan's, black suit, black pants.

Must be a cat burglar because he's like one even though it's not dark and the blinding, bright sun supports that. I joke in my head. It must be someone for Ma so I call her to the door instead. But I do gotta admit he looks like a person I had in my dream once. "Ma, someone's here for you."

"Actually, I'm your Dad." The tall man says in the doorway staring at me with his hopeful eyes.

I'm stunned and I don't know what to say but I do. So many questions re-run through my brain at that moment. My face flushes red, it can't be. I look anywhere but his face. I try not to meet his eyes but he meets mine instead.

All I can muster out is a pitiful "Why?"

"No, 17 years. But you decide to come back now, why?" Tears are poking the corners of my eyes. But I so desperately want to know why he left? Why come back now? Just why?

Ma comes running over here with a platter of cookies and so many more foods I can't count with blurry teared up eyes.

"And who might this be?" As Ma says this and I thought I saw a small twinkle in the back of her eyes like she saw something she thought she'd never seen again.

And honestly neither did I but I can't deal with this right now. Not now, not on top of everything.

"He says he's my Dad. Is it true?"

"I'd be lying if I say he isn't because he still has his same handsome looks which makes him hard to forget." And at that point Ma's crying too and Jamal finds his way over here.

He must have dog ears cause he says, "Dad?" In a questionably voice and his face shows it all. The emotion, the small tears building up in the corner of his eyes even though he said boys never cry. But this boy is crying now. I want to point it out but I think neither of us are in the mood for it.

"I..I..never meant to hurt anybody but I..I wasn't ready to become a father, I didn't think I had what it took. So I thought if I left I wouldn't make things worse by being there." He stammers some of the words and I hear all the emotion in his voice and from looking into his kind eyes that he's not lying. He's crying too and before we know it, it's a crying family reunion.