Jackie Earnie Vs. The Evil Eight

Cheese

My name is Zebra Phil. It's my first day on the Evil Eight's main taskforce. I am introduced to all of the members. 

Banana man, a man filled with pure rage to anything banana related. he was once able to smash a banana out of exitance. No matter transfer or anything. just gone. He also once was wiped out by God but came back due to sheer anger. 

E. Mergenc E. He has the power to close all Emergency exits whenever there's an emergency. Nothing will let you outside. 

Earl who isn't here because he's picking up food on Glorfloorblax 13. 

Dr. Q Cumber who can put a giant neon pink letter q on a pickle and if you eat the pickle with it you die but if you cut the neon pink q off you don't die. His doctorate is in cucumberology. 

Wants to be fucked by dinosaur guy. He is super sexually attracted by dinosaurs who try to fuck him. He always gets away last minute though. 

They're Great !! cousin of Federal Governments hate him. He has the ability if he squeezes a lemon in your eyes you forget what you had for breakfast. He is terrifying. 

And that should be all 12 of them. All 12 of them smiled. He had the ability to make shadows a physical force. He twirled his back hair. 

Crunch Guy. Our fem fetale of the group. She can squeeze concepts together.

Hot potato our trickster. He can make anyone play Hot potato to the death.

Hok E. pok E. He can beat anyone in a hokey pokey match. You never know when you'd need him. 

I don't even know. He has the ability to grab into peoples stomachs to get stuff out that they swallowed. like guns or knives or jewelry or safes or cars. He's very versatile. 

Can I use the Bathroom ? He is a man with super powered belly flops. 

And me? I'm I'm I ' M to be exact. My middle name is pronounced so wrong. I don't have a power yet.

We see a man in a pirate outfit with a spinwheel on his right shoulder. He walks in with Cool Jackie Earnie. Cool Jackie Earnie is a werewolf blood donator. He is Jackie Earnie's one weakness. 

The man in the pirate outfit starts talking "as your third in command after earl and Cool Jackie Earnie I must introduce I'm. I'm stands up. "Ladies and gentleman." Can I use the Bathroom says before I'm can say anything. I don't even know says "Women and Men." Hok E. pok E. starts talking "Boys and girls!" I'm stands up even more. "I'm I'm and I'm here to talk to you today about my relationship with the evil eight." "I want to thank you all for letting me into this organization." "I don't have any powers but I will find one and become a essential member."

Zebra Phil tries to wonder why he was dropped out of perspective but he can only picture a blueberry. I'm is approached by the man in the pirate outfit and he spins his wheel. it's overly sized and rests on his right shoulder. it has the words cheese on 95 percent of it and 5 percent cotton candy. "As you all already don't know my power lets me change the definitions of things. for example. The definition of DAMFINO is now. he spins the wheel. 

it lands on cheese. "Cheese!" Everyone looks around the room. "Nothing happened." The man in the Pirate outfit runs through the glass and falls to his death. We see someone kick down the air vent in the room. It's Lot. Lot ery Ticket. 

Oh how I hate that Al. Al co Hol! "He grabbed I'm by the pinky. "Do you want to know they backstory of me and Al? We we're brothers. I had so much respect for him. Mom had cancer and she died. Al could have used his power but he never did. And dad was abusive. He beat us every day. Once he saw the four leaf clover he was super lucky from that day on. but me? Nothing. My power of winning the lottery and allowing one random person in the universe back to life meant nothing. Nor does my power of Jamaica Time where I can travel anywhere in the multiverse whenever I want with no restrictions. Nor my power of cheating at a claw machine and if I do killing one random living organism in the universe.

I'm looks puzzled. "Aren't you lying?" Lot smiles "yeah I'm mostly lying." Lot scratches a ticket and brings The man in the Pirate outfit back to life. He climbs up the building and the other temp walk in. "Who cut the cheese Who cut the cheese?" Who cut the cheese walked in and he cut the cheese. He then farted (an analogy for cutting the cheese.) Who cut the cheese smiled. With our powers the Evil 8 will rule the galaxy! 

"Who cut the Cheese, you must be paitent." Cool Jackie Earnie said. I, E., They're, And, I, Can, I'm and the all pointed at the other. Lot. decides And and I should go on a mission. but is shot down by they're and and. as well as I'm.

"How about we Baby off for it?" The man in the Pirate outfit said. Cool Jackie Earnie shakes his head. No The man in the Pirate outfit you will be going to take out the Public Peace league of heros. we need to do whatever it is we do. Take on Captain Battle. Bring Lot with you. "Can I go?" Can and I ask (Not And). The man in the Pirate outfit and Lot go and Lot teleports The to the HQ of where the heros are.

Lot delves more into his backstory and starts choking out The man in the Pirate outfit. "See I was called crazy. "ME? Crazy?" I didn't see a 4 leaf clover like Al did. I saw THE clover. I will destroy Al with all the power in the multiverse if necessary. The man in the Pirate outfit asks why he doesn't trap him in another universe since Al has that restriction. Lot gets sad. "You're no fun." You're no fun looked around. he pointed to himself. "Me?" Me looked at No fun. "Me?" he said. Lot grabbed them and teleported them to other universes. 

He came back with an Alternate Al co hol. He was in 7 d. "See they all come out like this. I can't kill something like this. The 7d version of Al started running away in fear. or what we could even conceive running as for a 7th dimensional being. "see it's boring. they all just run away or ask questions in languages I literally cannot comprehend since they are on another plane of dimensional space. I did kill the 2d version of Al co hol though. 

The man in the Pirate outfit spun the wheel. the definition of walls is now......"Cheese!" the wall of the building was turned into cheese. Captain Battle was there just chilling. "Sip" he said out loud to no one in particular. Captain Battle Saw us. Not Us. The man in the Pirate outfit and Lot.

Captain Battle grits his shoes. "For the love of Battle!" He waves his hand and uses his powers on me. Oh god. "Villians! I will Rape you!" Everyone cheers.  a crowd appears. He makes me want to fight him. I pull out my shotgun and blast his face off. Captain Battle dies. The crowd starts crying. "Captain Battle!" Captain Battle is dead now. 

That was easy!