Jackie Earnie Vs. The Evil Eight

Jackie Earnie

I think of my backstory. I was in vampire detective school. I was one of the top students and I was a good detective. the case of the missing gopher was my favorite. I also had a mom and dad both named Jackie earnie. Jack Earnie is now a supervillain and he is like bad. like really bad. His power is also bad. I can't really remember what's what. wait. where's devil? 

"DEVIL!" I scream out loud. the people in the resturant look at me weird. Devil doesn't appear. Peter screams "Devil!" then asks me why I screamed that. I tell him about how devil was the one who gave people powers and how we always revive and how he was my friend. 

Peter opened his mouth for 25 seconds. "psh." "Powers? Devils? Men in pink shorts?" "that's a load of bullshit." No more than a load. More like 3 loads!" I try and talk him out of it. "can we at least make it 2 and a 1/2?" "No peter says "2 and 3/4 take it or leave it." I shake his hand.  "deal" 

"Or no deal." a mysterious man in the line says. He's wearing uh somthing. probably a hat. maybe a lasso. His eyes were bulging. They were also bright banana blue. He starts chewing gum and staring at us. I look at Peter. Peter looks at me. "Are you looking at me?" I smack him upside the head "read the script" Peter grabs his copy and goes "oh yes." 

the mysterious man gets to order first. "Hey welcome to bruces bike shop how can I help you today?" The M.M. (or the Mysterious man which was shortened to M.M.) pulls out a gun. "You can help me with all the money in the cash register!" He pulled out a second gun. Then a third. Then he was so skilled he pulled the fifth gun before the fourth which I didn't even know was possible. Then he pulled out a knife. which everyone booed him for. 

"We just want a pizza! this is the 27th time today we haven't been able to order anything!" "BOO!" I threw a grain of salt I had in my pocket at him. M.M. gets mad. he gets madder. "Grrr." he was now impersonating a jellyfish. My god its its horrible. I start to throw up. a human body shouldn't contort like that for a joke. His blue eyes turn blueberry white. My power is a terrifying one. He grabs his ears. He starts changing my skin color to blue. Peter gasps "it's Agent Roy G biv!" 

Peters skin is now purple. "Attack these freaks!" "They're weird colors!" Everyone started beating up Jackie Earnie and Peter. Peter was being beat up by them grabbing insane amounts of lemons and squeezing them down his throat. then paper was thrown at him over and over. Peter was in his zone. Those fools. the semi-okay peter papernotcut would be invincible in this state! They fashioned their guns into paper bullets. 

They shot multiple times but no cuts. "Ha HA!" Peter said. He started punching people. "Peter PapernotPUNCH!" He punched a woman who was lemon-boarding him. Roy became nervous. He moved his ears once again to turn his gun neon pink. He fired. "Posion bullet go!" Jackie Earnie grabbed the bullet and threw it at Roy. Roy caught it and threw it at Peter. Peter threw it at Jackie. "Hey what the hell man?" Peter apologized. Jackie Earnie threw it at Roy. Roy grabbed the bullet and split it in 2. He threw one and ricocheted the one bullet off of the other. 

Jackie Earnie punched the bullet back at Roy. Roy bit it with his mouth. He spit the bullet to the ground. Peter held his. Roy got mad. "Throw the bullet!" "No" Peter said. Roy started moving his ears again. "Now you're that ugly green on those cars they keep making instead of that nice dark green they should be making!" Peter just stood there. 

Roy got madder. "I've had it up to here with you! No never mind, right here is where i'd put my frustration!" It was right there. Peter threw the bullet as hard as he could. Right as Roy was about to grab it it stopped. after he tried to grab it the bullet shot right through him. Roy was on the floor. his eyes were key lime pie violet. 

"The evil eight will hear about this. We have thousands of members all over the world." "you can't stop us!" Jackie earnie grabbed him. "Oh yeah?" Jackie Earnie grabbed his nose and started shaking it. Roy became all blurry. Then he pulled his finger and he became dim. As he tried to speak he started to tickle him and his voice was turned into German.