Compulsive Lovers

Stressed and depressed

⚠️Trigger warning Mentions of Rape,Mental Brake-downs⚠️

     (Kirari Pov )

I'm currently trying to understand what ever the hell Yumeko is trying to say, and why there is so much static on her side of the phone. But she keeps making these weird sounds or the phone goes mute.
I'm starting to think she is touching herself, and I called at the worst possible time. And knowing her she is probably gambling with her self about how long she can go without being suspected.

So I tell her I will call her later,And my phones about to die. And she says bye, and for a spilt second I heard another voice say something like Finally. And the voice sounded a little bit Familiar. But I couldn't remember for anything where I heard that voice. I decided that I would think about that later. Even if it is bothering the hell out of me.

I have a sleepover to plan and it has to be fun. And besides I want to know everything about Maya. Even if she keeps calling herself boring and Un-entertaining I'm still going keeps asking her things until I know everything. But in all honesty it's hard to see why she thinks of herself like that.

But I'm still debating if I should rent a apartment for the sleepover. Because although I have a huge mansion I don't want Ririka having any feelings for Maya. I have already decided that she is mine but she has yet to understand and realize that. But I have to do something before Yumeko can considering she is already a close friend of Maya's.

But the funny thing is that I could easily write a life plan that forces Yumeko to stay away from Maya. But I can't bring myself too and I can't bring myself to tell Sayaka to do so either. But Sayaka has had such a horrible attitude since the day me and Maya talked. And it baffles me since all we did was talk. But speaking of talking I'm going to have to talk to her about that horrible attitude of hers.

But as of now I decided that even though it's the middle of winter I will use my parents beach house for the sleepover. And it's pretty big and will do nicely for a sleepover. I then decide that I have spent to much time on the sleepover for one night and that I will try to go sleep if my mind is Isn't spinning around with fantasies of maya.

I mean the talk I had with her recently was simply amazing. And I could sit and talk with her for days. Because she just is a great listener and great talking to other people. I hadn't had so much fun talking to someone since, I found interest in teasing Sayaka when she first started as my secretary. Maya is simply adorable and she will be mine within the next few months.

I go to brush my teeth and do my skincare. As for my hair I simply let it hang freely. Then I make my way to my bed and try to sleep before my brain is over run by myself Subconsciously fantasizing about maya until I drift into my sleep.

(Maya POV )

I'm back home laying in my bed wondering why the hell i choked up when Yumeko started to take my clothes off. I know that I was raped as a young child by my dad's friend, but I'm to old to be worrying about this shit. I wanted to get
Intimate with Yumeko but I started having flashbacks and I drove home.

Yumeko was understanding and she told me that it was ok. And that I shouldn't do something I don't want to so she is happy. But I felt like I was letting her down. And I hate that...

Why couldn't I just give Yumeko what she wanted.

Why couldn't I stop being selfish?

It wasn't about Me it was about pleasing Yumeko.

But I just Had to think about when I deserved to get raped and freeze up.

It was my fault for provoking him.

Wearing a tank top with shorts in the Egyptian heat.

It was my fault my boobs started growing and were outlined a bit with the tank top.

I provoked him by dressing like "Such a dirty slut".

So now I have to be a "good girl and take my punishment" since he has been imagining this for "quite some time."

And we cant tell anyone about "our little game we like to play" When we're alone.

But the problem was that I never liked the games we played. I was 9 and I was manipulated into thinking it was a good thing. Since nobody told me about sex yet I didn't know what the hell rape meant. And the fact that I brain washed my own self into thinking I liked it and wanted more was my problem. It was like I couldn't think for my own self.

But even though I know it's not my fault, My eyes still start to water and I can't stop the tears from falling. And I know what I'm about to do isn't good but I know that it's the only way I'm gonna get some sleep tonight. So I walk down towards the kitchen. And go for the knife drawer, I grab a small knife and I look at it. Wondering why this is the only thing that's going to bring me solace.

But I take the knife and slowly put it towards my skin. With tears falling and everything.

And I make a slit.

And another one.

And one more just for good measure.

And then I see the blood and feel calmer.

And then I go and put band aids all over the slits.
And cry my pathetic self to sleep.But before I do I wonder how I'm going to face Yumeko. And if it will be as awkward as I think it will be.