Blame Gravity

Chapter 20

I wake up around 2 AM, and I carefully free myself from James' arms. I walk to the bathroom and drink a glass of water. My head hurts terribly, and I have no idea what to do. I didn't bring any painkillers, and I'm not sure if I can just escape to a pharmacy in the middle of sightseeing. I don't know what to do.

I lay down on the bed and try to fall asleep again, but it's just not working. I sigh in frustration.

"What the fuck," I whisper.

"Hm?" I  hear James' sleepy voice.

I freeze. I didn't want to wake him. "Nothing. Go back to sleep."

"What's wrong?" he asks and sits up.

Damn it. Now he's awake as well. "I... my head hurts. Like, really bad."

"Oh. That's not good." He rubs his eyes, stands up, and walks over to his bag. A moment later he hands me a box of painkillers.

"Why do you-"

"I told you I'm prepared for any situation," he smiles and quickly gestures me to take them. I thank him, stumble to the bathroom for some water, and half an hour later the pain is pretty much gone.

"I'm okay now," I say.

He nods. For some reason, he decided to stay up with me until I'm fine. I don't really understand the reasoning, but sure, it's nice that he looks out for me.

We go back to sleep, holding hands, entangled in each other.

I wake up around 8 AM, about an hour until breakfast. James is already awake, and he's playing with my hair. I would usually yell at him, but I must admit, it's kind of nice. I decide on still commenting on it.

"What are you doing?" I whisper.

I think I startled him because he quickly lets go of me. "Nothing."

I shrug and sigh. "You're a terrible liar, Miller." I kiss his cheek to tease him and I sense it's unnaturally hot. My eyes shoot open and I see he's blushing, which makes me smile.

"Aw, don't be flustered," I say quietly.

"Well, that's quite challenging if you're so aggravating," he whispers.

I laugh and hug him tighter. "Did you finally read a dictionary? I'm very proud of your new knowledge of words."

"Oh, shut up!" He gently hits me with a pillow. 

I laugh harder and roll on top of him. We both fall silent as we study each other's faces, and I can feel his warm breath. 

"Can I kiss you?" he finally whispers.

I nod and we kiss, drowning out the voices of the world, feeling the sunshine on our skin, ignoring it because all we want to feel is each other. Our fingers intertwine, and we keep kissing,  this moment seeming neverending, neither of us minding that. 

We sit up and I settle in his lap before we continue kissing, everything feeling unreal and magical. For a few minutes, I forget how much I hate him, and all I can feel is this sort of terribly intense feeling I have for him, something close to... care? Warmth? I don't know, and I don't have time to think about it.

We suddenly hear a knock and we don't even have time to break apart before Mr. Simmons bursts in through the door.

"Good morning, students, we-" He stops dead in his tracks. I can see his face turn red as he probably sees us turn pale. "I... I think I disturbed something, I'll, uh... leave..."

James quickly stands up. "That won't be necessary. You didn't disturb anything, sir. We were just, uh..." 

"We were doing an acting challenge!" I yell, the first thing that comes to mind.

James looks at me with a 'WTF'-type expression but turns back to Mr. Simmons. "Yes, we were. You know, we were cast for a play, outside of school, of course, and there's a scene that we were practicing." He clears his throat.

"Right," says Mr. Simmons. "Uh, we... we're leaving for the airport in three hours. So come down for breakfast in a moment, okay?" With that, he closes the door.

James turns back to me, smiling like an idiot. "An acting challenge?" he mocks.

"I had to think of something!" I yell.

"Okay, okay," he hugs me tight. "Just don't be angry at me. Everything's gonna be fine."

"No, it's not. Mr. Simmons knows now, and that means all the teachers will know in, like, a week, and then they'll  look at us  differently, and... and..." I feel a tear trickle down my cheek.

"Hey, hey, hey," He kisses my forehead and wipes away my tears. "We'll be fine. Mr. Simmons doesn't exactly have great relationships with the other teachers. Besides, who cares what they think? They don't know what they're talking about."

"But... but what if the other students find out? We'll all be doomed... Mike will break up with me, and Maud will break up with you..."

"Yes, well, I was planning on breaking up with Maud anyways," he says. "And Mike is very forgiving. I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

I nod, wanting to trust him, and he holds me closer. 

"Just don't be sad, okay?" he whispers. "I can't bear to see you sad."  

I nod and he kisses me. God, I love h-... I love this!!! I love this. I love his hugs and his kisses. Not him! I'm tired, incredibly tired. That's why I slipped up. I don't love him. I hate him with all my heart. 

I break away. "Sorry," I mumble. "I... just..." 

"We should eat," he says quickly, and I nod. We head down for breakfast.

After breakfast, we pack our things, and after that, we sit on the roof and talk.

"So, this is the end, huh," I whisper.

"Yeah. We'll be back in Ohio in a few hours." He sighs and looks over at the distance.

"Will this... this end as well?" I say quietly, almost too afraid to say the words.

He looks at me, frowning. "What will?"

"This... this between us." I swallow, waiting for him to laugh, preparing to jump off the roof in case he does.

He sighs and looks back at the sky. "I don't know. Depends on what it is."

"What are we?" I whisper. 

"You tell me." 

We stay silent for a few moments. 

"We should forget about this," I finally say. "All of this. As soon as we get back, we just forget it. And pretend it never happened."

He looks at me. "I don't think I'll be able to do that, but I'll try for you."

I feel my cheeks heat up and I look away. "Okay. It's settled then."

We nod and stay silent for the rest of the time, admiring the view, admiring each other every once in a while. 

When Mr. Simmons calls on us, James kisses me one last time. "Thank you for this week. I had a great time. I hope you did too." 

He climbs inside before I can answer, leaving me utterly mesmerized on the roof. 

What have I done?

The plane ride is boring, just like on the way. When we arrive at the airport, we say goodbye, and I run to my parents, who have come to pick me up.

In the car, my Mom keeps asking me what the trip was like, and I decide not to tell them that James and I shared a room. All I say is that we saw some truly beautiful places, that I had a great time, and I also made up some fights with James to avoid any suspicion.