Blame Gravity

Chapter 26

"Look," he says after we're finished, both lying on the bed, trying to catch our breaths. "We need to talk now."

I groan and throw my head back, but after the dramatics, I look at him. "We do. I... I... I think..."

The doorbell rings. James groans in agony and looks out the window. He misses a breath and looks at me, seeming terrified. The doorbell rings again, persistent and annoying.

"It's Maud," he says. "Stay here, okay?" 

I nod. The bell rings again.

He walks out of his room, carefully closes the door after smiling at me briefly, and after a second I hear his footsteps down the stairs. 

I hesitate for a moment, then quietly open the door and sneak to the stairs to see what happens.

"Jamie!" Maud yells when James finally opens the door. 

"Hey, Maud. How are you? Come in." He sounds nervous.

"Your shirt is backward," Maud says in her whiny voice. My heart stops. She walks in, not seeming to mind. James follows her to the living room. I lose sight of them, and I'm afraid that if I go after them, they'll notice me, so I just stay there at the top of the stairs, listening to their voices.

"I... I was changing when you arrived," James explains, blatantly lying in her face. 

"Kay." 

It stays silent for a moment.

"So, uh, why did you come over?" James asks.

"I wanted to see you."

"Ah."

They don't say anything for a while. Then, I hear something that could be interpreted as a kiss. 

"Let's go upstairs, shall we?" I hear Maud whisper seductively. Oh my God. She's going to see me. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"Let's not," James says. "I... I don't really want to, right now. Sorry."

"Oh, okay." She sounds kind of angry.

It stays silent again, for a while, and then a stream of words comes from Maud's mouth. She talks about her friends, a guy that was apparently flirting with her on the subway, the things that happened today, the Kardashian's latest dramatic news, etc., etc...

I feel like ripping my ears off so that I can stop listening to hear, remembering when I took silence for granted, mourning the days I didn't appreciate it enough.

"Maud," I finally hear James say, and I thank the Lord for his impatience. "We... we need to talk."

"About what?" 

"I..." It stays quiet for a long moment. "I think we should break up."

No one says anything. My heart skips a beat. What the fuck is he doing?

Then, another stream comes from Maud.

"But... but why? What did I do wrong? We were together, we were happy, we... I... I thought you loved me, I-" I hear she's crying.

"I never said that," James says firmly. "I liked you. But I realized that..." I can hear him take a deep breath. "I just lost feelings, I guess."

"Is this about that girl?!" Maud yells. What girl is she talking about? Is there a girl James likes? Oh, that's the girl he loves, isn't it? My nails dig into my palm. There's a girl he loves, and it's not me.

Wait... what did I just think?

James inhales sharply. "Yes." 

My heart sinks. What if that's what he wanted to say to me? That this... that this is over because the girl he loves finally realized how amazing he is?

"So you're breaking up with me so that you can put your dick in some girl that doesn't even like you back?!" Maud screams.

"Get out of my house," James hisses. From his voice, I know he's trying his best not to yell. I don't understand what's happening. Everything is happening too fast. Why does the girl not like him back? I mean, good, but still.

"No, Jamie, I-"

"Get out of my house!" he says, louder this time, authority ringing in his voice. It stays silent for a few moments.

"Fine," Maud cries dramatically, and she storms out of the house, closing the door loudly. God, she's so theatrical. I hate it.

He stays muted for a moment, and then I hear James' footsteps. I quickly rush back to his room and close the door so that it seems like I didn't sneak out.

When he comes in, he sighs, rubbing his forehead. 

"Did you break up?" I whisper.

He bites his lip. "Were we that loud?" He wanders to the pouf and sits down, burying his face in his palms.

"I mean, Maud's voice when she's screaming can be heard from Paris, you know?" 

He chuckles lightly. "I guess."

We don't say anything. Eventually, I sit down next to him. 

"I'm sorry," he says finally. "For, uh... for leaving you waiting."

"It's okay."

You could hear a hairpin drop.

"Was it difficult?" I ask. I'm genuinely curious.

He sighs. "Yes. I didn't want her to be offended."

"I mean, she deserved it. She was really mean."

"No. It hurts to be broken up with. It's natural to reply like that."

"Then why did you make her leave?" 

He stays silent for a long moment. "Because she can react like that to me, but I will not let her talk bad about the people I love."

I don't reply.

Ultimately, I stand up. "I... I should go. I have to study."

He nods reluctantly and stands up. "Yeah, sure. I'll drive you."

"Thanks."

When we're at my house, I kiss him without thought. "Thanks. For everything."

I see he's blushing, and suddenly I feel very awkward. Finally, he smiles and puts his thumbs up. "Good luck with studying, Canmore. Have fun."

"I will." I step out of the car and wave at him as he drives away.

When I'm inside my house, I pack Maya's presents and put a bow around them. Then I study, especially French because I don't want Ms. Arquette to be even angrier at me.

Suddenly, my phone rings. I pick it up.

"Hey, beautiful!" I hear. God, I'm really not in the mood for this right now.

"Hey, Mike," I say, annoyance ringing in my voice. I feel very guilty, suddenly. I cheated on him again. I'm definitely going to hell.

"How's the studying? Did you find a present yet?"

"I did, "I whisper. 

"Nice."

We stay silent.

"Hey, I need to go," I say. "Thanks for calling."

"Yeah, of course. Bye."

He hangs up before I can actually say goodbye.