A Little Song Bird

The Walls are Tumbling Down

August 4, 2019

8:34 pm

My mind is still reeling but the music is beginning to help. The ear buds are comforting, they feel like a bumper against the world. After I woke up on Loki, a fucking god. I ran out to find Saint.

I'm definitely not ready to think about what is going on between him and I. My skin is already itching that I'm alone in my room. Saint is keeping me off the edge but I'm nowhere near stable. I really should be with one of them.

I catch my reflection and stop.

I look like shit.

Even though I spent an hour in the shower scrubbing off the blood. I can still feel it. Dark smudges under my eyes...there's no way to hide those. They stand out sharply on my pale face. Then there's the....braid. If that's even what I can call a masterpiece, my hair was crafted by him. Immediately when I saw it in the mirror I knew it had been Loki's doing, the green ribbon a dead giveaway.

I couldn't bring myself to undo it for my shower, instead tucking it safely in a shower cap.

The look in my eyes....turning from the mirror but I can't shake the image of the broken girl in that mirror.

Saint perks up when I turn to him. Cocking my head he watches me, waiting for my next move.

None of the others have bothered me since I ran off the ship to my room. I owe Bucky a huge thank you for keeping them away while I try to pull myself together. It's a miracle he isn't here, maybe he knows this time is different, that I'm different. Or the rift between us makes him hesitate.

Facing the dresser I dress myself in black leggings, a dark green hoodie and my trusty tactical boots....not without hiding a couple knives. It's doubtful I'm in any danger, but I wouldn't exactly call the Avengers my friends.

I can't take any chances....not after today.

Curling my left hand, I fall into a nervous tick I haven't used in years.

Using my right hand I rub at the left's palm. Resulting the urge to dig my nail into it. It's a stupid tick to have when I need my hands so damn much.

Walking towards the door I stop thinking. I need to. Sucking in a deep breath, the music takes over, "American pie" fills my mind. Replacing any thoughts.

Long long time ago, I can still remember

Over the music I click my tongue, summoning Saint to my left.

How that music used to make me smile

Forcing my hands apart, I pulled open the door and made my way down the hall towards the conference table where this all started not even 24 hours ago. Somehow the crown on my head makes me stand taller, strengthens my resolve.

And I knew if I had my chance

Everyone's already gathered at the table, even Wanda and Strange. Making my way around to the same chair, he raises his fist.

That I could make those people dance

I bump it without hesitation before sitting.